Macaroons

G-pa likes coconut. G-pa is also the man who has (almost) everything. So we tend to give him coconut macaroons (are there other types of macaroons?) for celebrations. Now, I'm not sure that he likes them, but I've been told that he won't share them with anyone. I tried to get one for Lily the last time we were there, but g-pa held out on us. So fine.

I went to Whole Foods today and bought my own macaroons. I'm not a huge fan of coconut but I do like to expand my culinary horizons. Holy smokes. They are some dense little cookies. The inside of it is almost custardy. No wonder there aren't any sharesies.

Lily cried a lot at the doctor's office. The nurse tried to bribe her with candies and chocolate. Once she left the room, Lily stuffed Goobers down her gullet as fast as she could. :) Oh and Lily hasn't gained any weight. She was such a big baby that I think she's slowing down. I don't know, I can't explain what I mean. I'm still feverish!!! Anyway, it looks like she grew 3 inches. She's just shy of 36".

So no, she's not food deprived and I make sure she eats a varied and (mostly) healthy diet. I mean, really, she ate most of my grapefruit yesterday. hmpf She's active and muscular so I think she's okay. But we go back in 3 months instead of 6, just to make sure. I think she's been the same weight since October of last year. Now trust me, I give her full fat milk and occasionally french fries. I guess it could be worse - she could be losing weight.

Oh and also, I know that the measurements are perfect. Lily was crying and squirming and scales can be off. :) So no stress. She's happy (now that she's home) and healthy and that's all you can ask for. :)

UPDATE: After her bath tonight, I measured Lily against the wall. She's just shy of 34 and a half inches. It's hard to get an accurate reading at the doctor's office when she's squirming and crying.

Sick of being Sick

I felt positively perky this morning. Compared to how I've felt the last couple of days. But as I set out on my errands I could feel how weak I still am. I kept on dropping things at Whole Foods. I finally just slowed down. People will live if they have to wait an extra second for me to grab my milk! And man, groceries really hit home this week. Price-wise. Rice has gone up, wheat has gone up. What else is there??? I guess I'm going to have to learn how to cook with corn meal. :)

I'm killing time until Lily's doctor appointment. She's snoozing and I'm sure she'll not be too happy to be going there. Sigh. At least it will be a good time to ask the doctor what I can do for Lily should she fall sick. Cuz, I never remember.

Feed a cold

Right? Feed a cold and starve a fever? I have one of the best fed colds, evah. I just had sausage gravy and biscuits for breakfast. mmm mmm I didn't get a lot of sleep again last night. I'm just too miserable to sleep. It's so weird. I even took a Nyquil-wannabe. My nose is plugged solid, my chest is full of phlegm (so it's hard to breathe) and I won't even go into the pressure in my head. I know, I know. There are many other things that could be worse. I just rarely get sick these days, and this is a really intense cold, so I'm feeling rather sorry for myself. Lily was lovely and slept in her crib for about 11 hours straight. :)

I don't think I'm going to take her to playgroup today. I would feel awful if I got other moms or their kids sick. Although Lily will miss her play time. Sigh. And no, there are no new Lily pictures. I don't know where the other batteries for the camera are. Seriously, I need to pay that Peter guy from Clean Sweep to come in here, clean up and get us organized.

Anyway, here's a cute baby picture I found on the internet. I think it's from humorupload (hey I don't want to be sued!)

Okay

Just in case some of you read about the tornadoes in Virginia - we're fine. They happened nowhere near us. And I called and checked and g-ma and g-pa are okay too. They're a little closer to the action. :)

Anyway, I'd like to find the person who gave me this head cold. It is vicious. I have been blowing my nose all day. My nose is raw and still plugged up. Well, alright, I do have one side open now, but it took a lot of effort to get there. hmpf And Lily is snuffling. So culprit person, are you proud of yourself???

not so happy

My throat was really sore last night but it's much worse this morning. The poor thing is red and swollen. Sigh. I'm doing my best to wash my hands and not kiss Lily. I'm pretty sure I don't have strep throat - as I just blew out my nose. :) But it's very painful. I slept for the short period of time that I was covered by my Advil. So it's going to be a pretty low key day around our house.

And this one's for M'Lou.

We did watch the Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. I thought it was hilarious. I really enjoyed it. Anyway, I think I'd best get ready to go and get soup and some sore throat medicine before I lose my coffee buzz. :)

Biter

I don't think I wrote about Lily biting me. I still have a faint mark on my arm. She leaned over, bit me, and then pulled away with my skin still in her teeth! She stopped when I yelled. I think I gave birth to Hannibal Lecter! I can tell that she's asserting herself more. Or, trying to. This morning she didn't want to come and get her diaper changed because she wanted to watch Shaun the Sheep. So tears ensued but we got her on the bed. Then I tried to put her down, so she could go and watch her show. Another shower of tears. So I snuggled her (because she jammed herself up against me) but I asked her about Shaun the Sheep. She said something that sounded vaguely Shuanish and took off. I mean, Really.

Anyhoo, as hot as it was yesterday, Miss Lily brought me her monster slippers to put on her. It's an interesting look, no? Let's see, today we're going over to G-ma and G-pa's house to celebrate a few birthdays. I'm going to try to get to the gym before we go. I really hate doing cardio. But I know it's probably the only way to lose weight. I've tried eating differently. Eating less doesn't work. When I'm hungry, people's lives could be at steak. Ah hahahahaha! Steak, stake, get it? Whatever. You're wondering who the little munchkin is on the right, right? Well, I'll give you a hint. She's the writer of this blog. And that's the only hint you'll get!

Well, I guess I should go and get ready for my day. I really appreciated Lily waking up at 6 this morning. It's only Saturday. Sigh. I might have to have a nap on the way down today. I honestly wake up every few hours to make sure Lily's still on the bed. She and I have been closer since I left. Well, more like, she doesn't want me to leave her sight and refuses to go to sleep without me. She's so cute. When I get home from the gym, she grabs her blankets and makes her way to the bedroom. And yes, that's my mom in the picture. I think this was at the old house, which they sold when I was around 6 months so I was probably that age or a little younger. Doesn't my mom look good for a chick that just gave birth? I'm still working off my baby spare tire.

Enjoy your weekend!

Ugh

I'm still not feeling hot. I think it's allergies but I don't want to pay the specialist to find out! I've been eating local honey and that's helped my headache go away. But apparently I need to eat it several months in advance of the pollen to get some real help. I swear that I can smell the pollen in the air. Sigh. Lily seems a little not herself as well. She rubs her nose like crazy. Sorry kid! I took her to the gym this morning and she started to cry as soon as she saw the building. Sigh. I still took her in and worked out for a whole 5 minutes. I told her I was going away for 5 minutes and then I sneaked back to see if she was still crying. Which she was. I guess I'll not take her for a month to see if she settles down a bit. Pedro and I are trying to work out a way for me to get my time in at the gym without disrupting Lily.

I know that some people might think I'm spoiling her but they can go pound sand. She's my child and I'm raising her the best way that I see fit. I didn't want to have a child, just to tell people I have one, while I'm out bar hopping. I want to be the best parent I can be. And I know there will be some tough lessons she needs to learn (and she's learning some now) about not getting everything she wants and doing the things that mommy and daddy say, I still feel that I should give her the love and attention I think she needs, and not feel guilty about it. Run on sentence, much? :)

Since the gym thing didn't work today, you may have been able to gather that I took Lily to the park instead. She had a pretty good time. I got her to climb up some big kid stairs and go through a tunnel. :) This was her on the drive home. She crashed when I got her down for a nap. :)

Progress = sadness

I'm a little not happy with how things are going in my hood these days. A few acres of trees have been torn down to make way for "villa homes", whatever they are, by the main gate. Pedro and I still can't get used to the bareness. I know that sounds weird but the ground looks naked. Where'd the forest go??? Anyway, so there are other subdivisions going up, the traffic is getting worse, and finally, my favorite pharmacy is closing. I knew a CVS was opening but I was determined to shop at the old place. It's a little more down home country, kind of a thing. Plus I have never had a good experience at CVS. So, I'm kind of wondering if it's still worth it to live out here. There's a 30 minute drive into town, and there's going to be less and less of the peacefulness that drew me here. Pedro and I have started to talk about moving into Charlottesville. I'd have to ask my city peeps about quiet areas. We're not ready to move anytime soon but we're liking this area, less and less.

Although, we are getting a Papa John's pizza soon, and if we could just get a good, GOOD, Chinese restaurant that DELIVERS! I might be able to stay. I heard a few people today talking about how they don't like what's going on either. I know the county is probably thinking about the revenues but I'm worried about the traffic (several people a year die on the local roads), and the infrastructure. We had cutbacks last year because of an almost drought. Can we really afford to put in three or four more subdivisions? How about to take care of the people already living here??? My cats' vet is on the council. He's getting an earful next time I see him!

Too much coffee!

I'm a bit of a caffeine junkie today. I even stopped for a cup on the way to Lily's play group. Which I promptly spilled on myself. Maybe that's why the other mom's liked me better today. I smelled like coffee! ha! I've noticed Lily being a little more clingy since I got back from Canada. And that's okay. So I held her this morning and let her warm up on her own. It didn't take long before she was running around the gym again. It's been so rainy that I wanted to get her out of the house to play, but didn't have so many options.

I'm also getting geared up to get Lily in the other playgroup (as this one is ending soon for the season). It's a Moms Club. They have a mom's night out once a month. There's even a spa night! woot! I tried to take pictures of Lily today with my cell phone but someone was faster than my camera phone. That's okay. :) There was this one little girl who kept on going around stealing the other kids' snacks. I mean, she was brazen about it. She'd grab the crackers and run and hide. She even tried to get Lily's sippy cup, but I don't play that. Although, I did have an extra box of raisins that I gave to a nice little boy (after asking his mom if it was okay!). :)

It's really amazing to watch Lily. Other kids take her toys and she looks around like, hmpf, but she doesn't cry. She tries to share her toys with other kids. The other moms tell me how sweet she is. No, I'm not taking credit. I try to treat her with the respect with which I would like to be treated. Maybe that's brushed off on her, but I think she came out of the baby oven sweet. :) That didn't sound right. More coffee!

Snooze

Both Lily and her daddy are napping right now. I was good and did some tidying up. I also called today to make sure that Revenue Canada got my tax return. They did. whew Hopefully, they agree with my return and send me lots of money back!

It's kind of a "nice" day today. It's about 20 degrees cooler than yesterday. It rained last night so the air is nice and fresh. :) I just don't like it when summer seems to start in April. I remember when I was pregnant and we had a heatwave. I can't remember if the high was 110 or 115F. 104F is around 40C so it was hot. Although, when I was in Vancouver we had the heater set to 19 or 20C and I slept with two feather comforters on me! Last night the house was set to 76F and I still had to sleep with a blanket. :) I think, after nine years, I've finally acclimated! Here's some more cupcake fun.

Cupcake Queen

Well, Betsey Booms was right. Watching a toddler eat a cupcake is pretty entertaining. I finally made it to Chandler's Bakery yesterday. I bought myself a napolean. Then proceeded to make an unholy mess in the car. :) I waited to get home before giving Lily her cupcake. She started slowly. In fact, she made sure that she got every sprinkle that dropped off the top. :) Is it possible to be messy and meticulous?? Just curious. Lily even got a pretty plastic ring on her cupcake. Chandler's rocks.

I like this next pic because if you look closely (click to embiggen!) you can see Pedro snarfing down a Klondike bar. Should I also mention that Pedro's been getting us up at 6:30am? Regardless of whether it's a weekend or weekday? I think I almost liked it better when he'd stay up until 2am. Sigh. I did plead for mercy and I got to sleep in until 8. hmmm I know I had some other stuff to blog about...

Oh yeah, I have been finding it tricky to get back into a routine here. My auntie spoiled me a bit in Vancouver. We'd take turns going to Starbucks in the morning. Then we'd either have a massage and go for lunch, or go for lunch and then have a massage. We didn't go everyday but I did have three treatments in five days so... Anyway, it was nice and it's hard to get back to the grind. So thank you auntie for spoiling me a bit. And then of course, there was martini hour.... I'm kind of surprised I made it back. :)

Lily's been waking me up at night the last two nights. We have been taking her to the park but the way she's thrashing her legs around makes me think she might be having growing pains. It seems to take her quite a while to get comfy and then she starts kicking again. Any thoughts? And I know some of you are reading but not commenting. M'Lou gets a pass cuz she's on the road but come on G-ma!

What Pedro said to me, 45 seconds ago, "You're pulling on the fart muscle." Say what???

Life - a comment

I know the US is going through some rough financial times. Have we agreed it's a recession? I don't know enough about it to comment. I do know that groceries have gone up! I've started buying the store brand if I can, or I'm switching brands if other things are on sale. I went to Burger King (I know, I know) for lunch yesterday and it was over $6. I was a little shocked. So much for a money saving combo meal. And then gas. At some stations it's $3.41 a gallon. It was around $3.26 when I left for Vancouver. What happened, y'all?

I've decided that I really don't want to work when I'm in school, so I'm trying to put aside money to pay for gas. I think that 16 hours of class, plus looking after Lily and trying to get to the gym, is enough to concentrate on. I guess if I have to find a job I will but I'd really rather not, and I think I can squeak by without it.

I've also been trying to cutback on our electricity and water usage. In Vancouver, M'Lou would tell me to shut off the engine cuz I have a habit of leaving it running until I leave the car. It's hot in VA, y'all would do the same thing. :) Anyhoo, at the grocery store yesterday, I heard a loud engine running as I was passing a pickup truck. There was a pretty hound in the back of it but I didn't see anyone in the front. There was no one in that vehicle while it was running! I thought M'Lou would would go postal! (if she were there) So there's a lot that people could do to cutback on certain resources. (white pickup truck owner, I'm looking at you!)

Lastly, I've been having dreams of bad spirits. For two nights in a row now! I did much better last night. I told it to get lost. It's weird because I feel like the thing with my dad is over. I don't think I have any lingering whatever. Maybe I should do some smudging. After cleaning out my desk, I found my sage!

18 months!

Well, we made it to 18 months. Lily is well on her way to becoming a little girl. Of course, we have to get through the terrible twos. I'm trying really hard to be sensitive and pick up on her clues, but it's hard. Our relationship is always changing. I mean, duh, I'll always be her mom but the things that she wants to do and how she wants to do them are always evolving and so my duties change as well. Today she really wanted to eat her afternoon snack in her highchair. She used to not like the highchair so much but whatever, I put her in there. She happily ate her yogurt while I washed her sippy cups and cleaned up the kitchen. I used to have to put off doing dishes until nighttime because I didn't want to leave her unattended for that long. So awesome, we have a new thing that we can do. :)

The above pic is Lily watching Shaun the Sheep. You have to have a good hold on her because she starts to dance once the music comes on. :) Lily and I went to Old Navy today to get her a couple of sun hats. I ran into an old friend today and we chatted outside for 15 minutes or more. I could feel the sun on me and I'm sure Lily was broiling. It is 90F right now!!! That's about 32C. I mean, REALLY. It's only April. I shudder to think what August will be like. Anyhoo, I wanted to get her some hats to help shade her. Well, of course, I got some other things too. Yes, I know. Her hat and shorts match. The polo shirt also matches. Sigh. Well, you know what that means, right? ATTENTION LILY SHOPPERS: We need some blue or white shoes!

I know, I'm incorrigible. I love how the back of the shirt is cut. Is that a racing back?? I think it's very flattering. And no, I'm not going to get the same thing in my size. And no, I won't deny that I thought about it. :) I have been impressed with the change in Pedro. He's much better at dealing with Lily. Although, he admitted that he didn't have much of a choice while I was gone. But he did have a choice and it looks like he made the right one. I now get lectured on taking care of Lily, which as the survivor of sleep deprivation for many months, I don't fully appreciate.

I also got Lily a little sundress. It's a little mu mu looking to me but I think it's all cotton and it looks really light and comfortable. I just cannot get over how much she changed in a week. She definitely had a growth spurt. Her feet look huge! :) I'm not put out by the change - I'm rather charmed by it. I feel like we're getting glimpses of the stunning chick she will become. :) Oh dear, I just remembered that I should go to the gym tonight. I've been quite run down and I've talked myself out of going but I don't want to get too comfortable being a lazy so and so. Plus I have Klondike bars in the freezer. Seriously, I thought the bars were twice as big as they actually are, so when I read that they have 250 calories I thought that's pretty good. Then I pulled one out. I keep it in the freezer and take a bite when I want something sweet and cool. :)

Oh yeah, and one more thing...

Jive Talking

Yes I have that BG's song in my head right now. I managed to capture Miss Lily "talking" on the phone! It's actually the unplugged fax machine. I'm not sure she knows the difference. shhhhh I just remembered that the videos can take a while to load. I guess we'll go finish our lunch. Mac & cheese & cheese with apple slices, thanks for asking. :P

Oh no. I keep on playing the video for Lily and she seems to be taking orders from her video self. She just ran to the phone and yelled "A, A, A, T!". Oh to be a kid again. Right? At least she knows more letters of the alphabet. :) Which also reminds me that I need to make a list of questions for her pediatrician visit. They always ask stuff like, how many words can they say, etc. I want to know what kind of bug spray I can use on her. Oh poop. I actually have a few questions. I'd better get going.

Wow

I've been working hard on cleaning up my desk today. I don't really have a reason. I think seeing the mess left behind after my father died really lit a fire under me to get rid of things I don't need. I have a small pile of things for Goodwill and I recycled a lot of paper. I even chucked a ring of keys I hadn't seen in 5 years. Seriously, if I didn't need it all this time....

Oh and Lily doesn't need me anymore. She can put on her own shoes, eat her own oatmeal and yogurt. hmmm I know there's more. She talks a lot more. I guess grandma was a good conversationalist. :)

Do not leave maxipads in an open suitcase on the floor. Sigh. I wish I could have fun with anything like Lily does. Of course, that would also mean that someone else would clean up the mess.... Maybe some of you can advise me on what to do with pictures that I don't want. I feel kind of guilty throwing out old pictures of people who I don't know, but what else am I supposed to do with them? Could people use them for art projects? I have a ton of pictures and I don't want them and can't think of a use for them. Ideas please.... :)

Let's see. Oh I was going to put down a happy dad memory. I've already told this to some people, but too bad. My father was really into helping people. One rainy day we were at a mall, in the liquor store. (of course - ha!) A man on crutches came in the mall and within a few steps he slipped and fell. I was about 9 or 10 and just watching, as irritating children do. No one rushed to help him. They looked but kept on walking. I remember seeing him struggle to get up and all of a sudden my dad saw him. My dad hurried out and helped the man up and get his feet. I remember how grateful the guy was. Then we went back in for the booze. :) I try to do the same. I mean, not the booze part. I hold doors open for people or I'll see someone struggling to get something off of a high shelf and offer to get it. (or wait until they notice me towering over them). I like helping people too although I'm a touch shy about it. So people, go and help someone today and see how much better you feel. :) But ask first! What's that joke about the old lady and the boy scout?

Oh and in case you were wondering...

Trust me, that's a 100x better. :)

Gingersnap back to reality

It's funny how quickly I got used to not taking care of Lily. I was slowly waking up this morning when I realized that I probably needed to take care of Lily. Hey, she was right beside me. So quickly I forgot about getting milk and breakfast, as well as juice and snacks, for someone else. I slowly got it together this morning. :)

I'm trying to empty out my suitcases. One of them was opened by the TSA (they left a lovenote) but everything seems to be there. I'll try to take some pictures of Lily but I think today is recovery day. Last night I went to bed to try to lull Lily to sleep and I crashed. I mean, I woke up at 2, fully dressed and wondering what happened. I didn't even have martinis to blame! I thought I would get more sleep in Vancouver but I was in a strange bed and in a house with strange goings on, so not much rest was had. Could I be more vague? Alright, it seemed like we were haunted a few times but it wasn't that bad.

Or was it???? MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

I'm back

And very tired. I think I got 3 hours of sleep last night. Someone's auntie got a second wind at 11pm and was extremely talkative. Oh well. I usually kept her awake talking while I tried to sleep. :)

You know, it wasn't so bad. I mean the traveling part. I never set off alarms in security (sports bras, ladies!) (and some men), and I like those little baggies to put my stuff in. My lip gloss always gets lost at the bottom of the bag but not anymore... I really don't have anything to complain about. Two of my four flights on United, left early. And my connecting flights were close. It really couldn't have been better.

I didn't have a lot of time there and I didn't even go into Vancouver. We had a garage sale for two days. There's nothing like a garage sale to bring out the best in people. :) But we got rid of a lot of stuff. I wish I had done more. I blame it on the martinis. I told my aunt and her friend Trish that I don't drink and then proceeded to down 3 and a half martinis. I think you call that making up for lost time.

Let's see, I won't go into specifics cuz I'm tired (three hours of sleep, remember?) and I really can't think of anything interesting to get into right now. I will say that Lily seems so different already. Apparently, she lets people know when she's ready to go to bed now. :) She didn't seem too enthused to see me this afternoon, but she hugged me and held on tight for several minutes tonight. :) Well, I hear someone crying so I'd better go... :)

Wow

I'm full! I was craving a burger. I haven't given up on eating more veggies but I've worked out 4 days in a row and my body wants something substantial. Now I'll HAVE to go to the gym tonight. :) I'm still kind of nervous about flying. Okay, not about the flying part but I don't know what to do anymore. It's been several years since I've flown. I can check-in online, but then what do I do with my bags? I know the TSA people have to check them first. One of them smells like a rat died in it. (I febreezed the CRAP out of it) I guess doing the check in online will answer a lot of questions. Cuz I'm all, where do I get my boarding pass? Sigh. I am down with all the carry on rules. I've been studying that stuff for days. :) You can even bring yogurt, as long as it's under 3 oz. Go on, ask me a question!

Achem. Anyway, I'm thinking about calling the airline tomorrow if I still have questions. I've been going over all the stuff I need, I just cleaned my wallet out of all the extra crap. I want a smooth, fast trip through security and customs. So I won't wear this shirt.

Gosh. You really have to take your shoes off to go through security. I thought they used to pull people out of line who looked suspicious. Oh well, I guess I'll wear my ladybug socks. :)

OMG

I'm running around a bit getting the clothes together that I want to bring to Vancouver. So I'm not watching Lily 100% of the time. It was pretty quiet and that usually means disaster (for me). I went out to the livingroom and Lily had opened up her yogurt (I had put it out to feed her at one point but forgot about it - sigh) and she was eating it. She didn't even spill it! Is that normal for an almost 18 month old? Just curious.

In other news, I just tried on my tight jeans and I have a little bit of muffin top, but they'll do. Go me! You know what sucks, though? I used to have half a dozen makeup bags. Remnants from several beauty gift with purchase things. I cleaned out my drawers a while ago and got rid of them all. Well, who needs one now???? Crap.

*Smile*

As I was watching Sesame Street this morning, I remembered something that always used to make me smile. I'm trying to think of how to set this up. The CBC (Canadian Broadcasting something) used to use little fillers in between shows. There used to be this one, right before All My Children came on. My mother taped it, thank you very much. I abhor, ABHOR!, soap operas.

Anyhoo, picture it: a little girl with Down's syndrome in a bumper car. I think she was wearing glasses and a blue jacket. A look of complete concentration on her face. The wheel was cranked hard so she was going backwards in circles. What made this perfect? Willie Nelson's On the Road Again, playing in the background. I used to laugh so hard. And not at her. Just because it was so perfect. And I don't even know if I can explain why I thought it was so perfect. I sat there transfixed for the whole 45 seconds and it would just fill me with joy. :)

In other news, I'm going to start packing soon. I ordered a cool knapsack from Endless.com. Free overnight shipping. Sometimes they have overnight shipping and pay you $5. Plus they have some hot shoes. Check out the Naughty Monkey. Anyway, once my knapsack gets here I can put my passport and other stuff in it. Like my granola bars. M'Lou warned me that they do sell food on the plane but they run out of it. As they did to her, twice in one day. I remember that. She got to our house and was starving. Pedro was kind and grilled her a steak at 10 at night, or something. :)

I hear that the washing machine has stopped. Time for the next load. :P *humming On the Road Again*

She might be a contender

Lily has started hitting. It's not the upset smack she does when you take something away from her. It's a stealthy, clock mommy in the head with a coffee cup when she's not looking, kind of hit. She got me with an empty juice jug yesterday. She's strong and it hurt. I tell her not to hit ever. I'm not sure what else to do. Sometimes I'll yell ow (cuz it hurts) and she'll get upset and need a hug from me. Say what??! It's something I'll work on when I get back home but it's definitely a frustrating turn of events.

Lily has also started refusing naps. She is sleeping right now. whew But she didn't nap all weekend. Which meant she crashed at 7pm. ha! She has been displaying some seperation anxiety. She cried when I went to the gym Friday night. But I went, because well, I need to and I guess she finally fell asleep. Sunday, I went to the gym and she waved bye and then went back to coloring. whew So hopefully she's learning that I go away but come back, eventually. :) I'm also hoping this means I can go to the gym during the day and she won't cry. I think my classes start May 19th, from 6 to 10 pm. So I'm not going to have time in the evening to go. I'm really looking forward to it. It will be a bit chaotic but I'm so psyched about what I'm going to learn and I've had a couple of different people either offer me a job, or offer to help find me one. So, one again, I'm excited! I know it's going to be a long slog through 10 months. :)

Anyway, I need to rinse the dye out of my hair. I'm slowly knocking things off of my to-do list. :) How awesome am I???

Well, it's official

I got my suitcase out from the back of the closet. Mayhem ensued for 5 minutes as I tried to figure out how to open it. Then more mayhem as I tried to find the keys. Sigh. All is well. I'm going to try to pack lightly as I'm sure I'll have some things to bring home. :) Probably some old pictures, but for sure some Canadian chocolates. Watch out Purdy's! And that's it really. Pedro keeps on begging me to bring home some dried ginger beef but I just don't think it will taste good after a day in my suitcase. And think of what my clothes will smell like...!

I still don't know why I'm filled with so much anxiety about going to Vancouver. I know I'll miss Lily. I'll miss my home. I won't miss Pedro cuz he's grumpy. And I'm sure to get a lot of sleep. Maybe my dad's death will finally become real. 3000 miles gives some emotional distance too, I guess. I also haven't flown since 2002 and there have been a lot of changes. I just don't want any hassles. I want to have everything at the ready - I'm even willing to wear flip flops so I won't have to take off my shoes. Although my toes will freeze off in Vancouver. Someone recommended that I take some sage with me to my dad's house so I can do some smudging. Great idea.

Happy Birthday G-pa

Well, I think it was yesterday, but Happy Birthday G-pa! I remembered earlier today and then forgot until 2 minutes ago. Such is life in my brain. What is Lily doing in this picture? Watching tv upside down in a container much too small for her, of course. At least one of us in this family will be normal. achem

Lily did a little better today when I went to the gym. She didn't start crying. She also skipped her nap today and crashed tonight. ha! It was just nice to experience a peaceful evening. :) Lily's starting to become so grown up looking. I wonder if she'll be a sassy pants like me. Yes, I'm writing stupid cuz I really have to go pee. Does anyone else do that? Blog under bladder pressure? Just curious. But not TOO curious.

Ahh, much better. Anyway, today I made ribs and baked beans and fresh rolls for dinner. yummm! Okay, the ribs were already cooked, the beans heated up in the microwave and the rolls were heat and eat, but hells bells, it was delicious! We've been worrying about Lily getting enough to eat because of the other night when she was crying because she was so hungry. I know Lily likes ribs (see mother's day pics from last year) and I know she likes beans. She even ate a whole bun. So, she was tired and had a full belly. :) Mission accomplished. Unfortunately, I spent a small fortune on ribs which I can't do every night. Sigh.

Well, as I was playing that fracking game again, I'd better wrap this up and get to bed. I still have a lot of things to do before I go. Like find my suitcase.... Sigh.

Cry It Out

I can't remember if I wrote about this already or not. I think it was Thursday night that Lily wouldn't quiet down. She kept on crying off and on. This went on for a long time and I did let her cry for 5 minutes alone because I was getting so frustrated. Then she made a num num face (she looks like she's eating) and I finally got it. She slammed a mommy yogurt and went to sleep. I can't WAIT for her to talk. "Food" or "hungry" would have made all the difference in the world. Sigh.

So that's why I'm against CIO. There could be something genuinely wrong. Last night, Lily just seemed to want me. Sigh. I guess I'll see if I can make something similar at one of those Build a Bear places. :) Also, since Lily's been up later, she's been more tired and crankier in the morning. It's kind of a vicious cycle. :P

I guess I'm not feeling so bad since I got a full night's sleep. I just wish my dreams could be more normal. But then that would mean I'd have to be more normal....

Well, I'm off to get my haircut and go and get groceries. It's going to be daddy and Lily together again today. I think they need the practice. :P

Finally

I think I finally got close to 8 hours of sleep last night. It feels so good. :) So I'm not as snarky. I also made it to the gym last night for almost an hour and a half of sweating! That also helped. And the hot guy who worked out beside me for 2 minutes and smelled absolutely divine? Also helped. :) There seem to be some people who don't mind going to the gym stinky and getting stinkier. As someone (of many) who needs to breathe, I don't appreciate bad smells as I'm stuck on a machine sucking air. That goes double for you gas releasers out there.

I'm trying to load the video again. The internet has seemed to be so slow lately. Sigh. In other news, this is my new addiction. I meant to have a nap yesterday with Lily but somehow I got stuck playing it for over an hour. Sigh.

Last night, as I tried to leave for the gym, Lily became inconsolable. Pedro wanted me to stay but I can't be tied to Lily all the time and he'll need to learn how to deal with her when I'm gone. Apparently, she cried for over an hour. I guess she is really going through seperation anxiety. Daddy used to be the rockstar of the house, but she doesn't want to be apart from me anymore. Which is weird, because at the play group, where she's surrounded by 30 kids, she only comes to see me twice. Granted I go and see her to make sure she's not stuck or to help her get onto or into toys. :) Well, it looks like the video is up. I'll see if I can get another one on here.

A Cup of Hot Snarly Hornet Stew

I am SO grumpy today. I think the pressure of the last few months is getting to me. My patience is ZERO. I really feel overwhelmed and fat and an inept mother. Which I'm sure is all ridiculous, except for the fat part. I mean, really, I work out 4 days a week and I've lost 5 pounds in almost two months. Okay, so I ate some donuts yesterday. Oh fuddrucker! The house down the road is having trees cut down and that was bad enough, but now the steaming chunks are grinding the stumps. ARGH Seriously, I'm not in a good mood.

I took Lily to the gym again today and I only worked out 15 minutes. I don't know what to do. I've started explaining to her that she needs to play so mommy can go and do what she needs to do and that I'm going bye bye but I'll be back. I figure that once she's been without me for a week, we'll make a dent in the separation anxiety. That, or she'll cling even more to me. Once I start classes in May, I won't be able to work out at night. And getting up at 5am seems a little out of touch with the chowder, I like to call reality.

Oh CRAP! I meant to make myself something to eat and now I'm REALLY hungry. Moms? Please tell me I'm not the only one to do this. Sigh. At least I think I remembered that I had to go to the bathroom. *feels chair*

Well, there was an awesome video to be included but it's been a few hours now and the dern thing won't take. So I'll try again later. :P

Nummy

That's what Lily's yelling at the moment. I kind of like being Nummy instead of Mummy. It has a certain, something. :) This is one of the shoes I wore to drive Pedro to work this morning. I'm so tired of looking like a schlump. But then sleep deprivation is its own look, right? So yes, Lily tried on my shoes. She did a pretty good job. Man, her toes look long. Anyway, I have a crap-ton of things on my mind and I need to get things done. I don't have really laborious things to do, but I have a lot of little things that are all important. That's irritating cuz I'll be laying awake at night and I'll think, Biteguard! I can't forget my biteguard! Sigh.

Well, I have a week. Apparently, some people need to get in gear too. :)







PS Fridge - you're a little bit dirty. You might want to fix that.

Wowza

I called Lily's doctor's office today. Wow! ha ummm G-ma's going to be looking after L-pants and I wanted to know if they needed a letter or something so they will accept that g-ma's taking care of her. Did that make sense? I got buried under some good advice. I never even thought of giving Lily's insurance card to G-ma. But if there's an emergency, she'll need it. Thanks doctor's office!

I did get Lily's schedule made up. I even managed to keep it to one page! Now I'm working on contacts and other stuff. SIGH. Who knew being a mom was so bureaucratic???

I love Lily. I just asked her if she wanted to wash her hands and she went straight to the bathroom. Earlier today I asked her to find her daddy. She went to the study, then the spare bedroom, then the bathroom. She knows where he spends his time... :)

I just wish Lily talked more. I mean, in a language that I understand.

Well, hmpf

I was waiting and waiting to see all the comments for the cute Lily picture and what did I get??! Nothing! I've also been suffering from allergies (I think) so I've been too tired to post. But I'd rather cite self-righteous indignation than weakness. :) This is Lily at playgroup yesterday. She had fun. I have some cute stories but no one's going to comment on them so.... :P

Man, I am a little suckhole today. Anyway, I thought maybe I'm tired because I haven't been eating enough iron (in my food) or enough calories so we went to Sticks last night. It's a healthy fast food place. Do I have to mention it's a kebab shop? Anyway, I had an awesome lamb sandwich and then proceeded to pig out on onion rings and fries. As I'm still tired, I guess I wasn't suffering from a lack of calories or meat. Sigh. But you have to eliminate things to be scientific, right?

My car is still in the shop so I'm chauffeuring Pedro back and forth to work. This morning was the first morning I could sleep in so Pedro didn't get to work until 10. ha! Lily had a good sleep in too so I think we're all a little happier. Don't expect it to last. :) I need to start on my packing list - seriously, if I don't write things down, I will forget to pack deodorant, etc. I need to type out Lily's schedule for G-ma and remember to check-in online. Oh yeah, and make sure that I have my passport. whew

So I have a lot of stuff on my mind. I'll be a lot happier on April 15th when I'm home. :) I'm going to miss Lilypants like crazy. ummm and Pedro too. :)