tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15110882460562223162024-03-05T23:25:01.208-05:00Happy Baby Blog x 2Pictures, cheesy stories and anything else I darn well feel like.LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.comBlogger1090125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-76859801749537441632022-02-18T21:40:00.005-05:002022-02-18T21:40:51.091-05:00Wow<p> I'm trying to keep this blog alive so that Frances (Lily) has access to old pictures, videos and memories.</p><p>People my age lack that electronic database of memories. I'm not jealous. I'M NOT!</p><p><br /></p><p>Maybe a little.</p><p><br /></p><p>I actually remembered a password from 2015.</p><p><br /></p><p>Damn I'm good.<br /></p>LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-64273030672584776232017-05-20T19:42:00.001-04:002017-05-20T19:42:42.452-04:00Don't Call it a.....I was thinking a lot this morning. I was at the gym and feeling pretty weak from the workout I had yesterday. I had time, while sucking in air, to ponder my existence.<br />
<br />
I'm stronger than I have ever been. Ever. I screwed up the weight this morning for quads. I was like, gee this is heavy. Maybe because I was doing 20 more lbs than I was supposed to? But I did it.<br />
<br />
I'm forty-six. And I don't give up? I remember when I was running more and then got asthma. (I'm not sure how one gets asthma, but whatever adult onset) I ripped my shoulder ligament and I was in pain for years (finally got the right dr and PT). Still didn't stop me. Plantar fasciitis? I was limping for 18 months, wore a boot I couldn't sleep in, every night, and got better. Knees? Ganglionic cysts? Whatever, man. Onward and shit. Fibroids that had me hunched over in pain more days out of the month than not. Surgery saved me. yay! Shingles! In my damn eye. Oh yeah and then the rheumatoid arthritis. Crap.<br />
<br />
I don't quit. I don't really know how. (also mad props to the medical professionals in my life) Don't get me wrong. I hurt. But I ask myself if it's enough to stop me and if it's not then on I go.<br />
<br />
I feel like there's a metaphor in there somewhere. I know we all get dealt shitty hands in life. Not everyone survives their cancer treatment, or even childbirth. But you don't know where you'll end up. Keep trying. One foot in front of the other. Or as my hero Giles Corey would say: "more weight"<br />
<br />
<br /><br />LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-16155899143324926332017-03-16T09:03:00.001-04:002017-03-16T09:03:47.183-04:00Nothing. That's what's going right today.So, wow. I haven't posted anything since last June. Well, it's not like anyone follows this. Anyhoo, onwards.<br />
<br />
Madi has been having a rough week which I chalk up to the time change. Fecking DST. This morning, she sits on the sofa and there's a blue cup next to her (boy, will I rue this observation). "Hey Madi, look at your clue cup."<br />
<br />
She looks at it. "Blue cup please."<br />
<br />
"um, that is your blue cup."<br />
<br />
"Blue Cup Please!"<br />
<br />
"Uh okay, but like that's a blue cup."<br />
<br />
"BLUE CUP PLEASE"<br />
<br />
Off we go in search of a mythical blue cup. We have to climb over a mountain of sheets because her diaper leaked last night. Which reminds me that I need to start a laundry. Anyway, no blue cup.<br />
<br />
"Come on, Madi, let's go to school."<br />
<br />
"BLLLLUUUUUUUEEEEE CCUUUUUPPPPP PPLLEEEEEAASSSSEEEEE"<br />
<br />
Holy #*$&(#<br />
<br />
"How about a cookie?"<br />
<br />
Her cookie broke so she had to go and steal the rest of them. Fine. Just fine, like let's get this horribly written reality tv show out to the car. She refused to get into her seat. At this point, I text her teacher to say that I'm not sure when we're going to get there. Which means, of course, that now she'll get into her seat when I ask her to. *steam coming out of my ears*<br />
<br />
Yes, we made it to school. It should be noted that Madi only likes Juicyfruit gum.<br />
<br />
OMG This is also how she's been:<br />
<br />
I thought she had gum in her mouth when I was giving her meds one night. She kind of hid it from me (I didn't care, I just asked her to open her mouth) but then I saw her move it across the front of her mouth. I said "you have gum!". She took it out and threw it at me. I'm not exaggerating.<br />
<br />
Monday she was a mess. The bus aide said Madi's classroom aide got Madi to the bus and then took off. Madi threw herself on the floor of the bus. She's like 80lbs. The bus aide can't lift her so she said "You'd better get up and in your seat or your going back to class and waiting for your momma!" Madi got up and in her seat and said "go home". Whew.<br />
<br />
This kid.<br />
<br />
Everyone else is just keeping on keeping on. LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-47582942260361772072016-06-14T23:00:00.000-04:002016-06-14T23:00:44.055-04:00Fuck this shitAlright, alright, sorry about the swear words. Today has been ROUGH.<br />
<br />
Lily doesn't really care for her sister. I've tried talking to her about this, obviously, and she has trouble even putting into words why she doesn't like her sister. I'm not going to say "Love her or else!" because 1) it's not going to work and 2) it will likely make her hate her sister more.<br />
<br />
So we're talking today about this and Lily says something about how they will never be friends because they can't play and they can't really talk to each other. I, very patiently, start to say "Madi will never have..." and that's as far as I got because the thunderbolt hit me and I started bawling.<br />
<br />
Madi will never have friends like Lily has friends. She'll never call or text someone. She's friendly with the other kids at school, usually, but will she ever form a bond of friendship with someone that will last the test of time?<br />
<br />
Unlikely.<br />
<br />
And yes, I'm crying again so sorry about the typos. And grammar. And shit.<br />
<br />
So then the behavioral therapist comes over, who is awesome. She starts talking to me about how I can reclaim my house and that it doesn't have to be driven by Madi and what Madi wants. How I can take control over my life again.<br />
<br />
Well, cue another waterfall from me.<br />
<br />
It's been kind of a gut wrenching day for me. And then the shooting in Orlando and I'm horrified by this world that I live in. Arguments online over gun control, no mental health, NO Islam and holy shit, can we do something about this? If prayer worked I would be a size 6.<br />
<br />
But I digress. (Hey, there IS something that I'm good at!)<br />
<br />
That's how it gets you, or me, rather. Going along, through life, as best I can, trying not to screw up too much and ka-blam! One right in the kisser. Someone very wise once told me that I will grieve for my child again and again throughout her life. It's mourning the life I had imagined for her before her diagnosis. And my friends, it is a bitter, bitter pill.<br />
<br />
But life goes on, and I pick myself up, with garlic-cheddar biscuits, and keep on keeping on. Sometimes with tears on my cheeks and a bitter taste in my mouth. LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-81521507865168066412016-06-01T18:25:00.001-04:002016-06-01T18:25:52.588-04:00My MREsWhy so possessive you ask? Because I haven't served in the military and I'm sure that I'm doing some things wrong, but I figure other people have no idea what these are so this is just a little introduction.<br />
<br />
First up - I feel like it's Christmas when I open my MRE bag. Chicken with Pasta in Pesto Sauce. Ooh lala!<br />
<br />
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<br />
But what other treasures are inside? We'll start upper left hand corner and go around clockwise. We have the empty container, in which the food will be heated. Small packet is squishy processed cheese. Corn nuggets (aka corn nuts). "Condiment" bag. Chocolate pudding powder. (YAS!) Beverage heating bag underneath "Italian" bread sticks. Spoon. Chicken with pesto and noodles. Carbohydrate electrolyte beverage powder. (Lily loves them. They remind me of reconstituted gatorade. I hate them.)<br />
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Hokay. One of my favorite parts of this - the instructions."Rock or something" Not too fussy. The heater actually works quite well. Chemical reaction, something, again these are great for when you have no power, etc.<br />
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The contents of the "condiment" bag. I'm not really sure what to call it. Again, clockwise from upper left corner: non dairy creamer, ground red pepper, instant coffee (says "pure coffee" on the back, thank Cthulhu), sugar, paper napkin, matches, gum, salt, and wet wipe. Seriously, these things have everything.<br />
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Squeezy cheese on some almost 5 year old italian bread. I lived. So far.<br />
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Ahhhh the main course. Did not suck. Quite a bit of chicken, almost no noodles. Flavor was... well, I ate it, okay? All of it. So it was not the best thing that I've ever put in my mouth, nor was it the worst. I did NOT eat those two bread sticks. <br />
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<br />
I was going to make you imagine the chocolate pudding but in for a penny, in for a pound, right? We're not British, I know, just whatever. hmmmm If Jello pudding made a pudding cake that's what this would taste like. Again, not horrible but it's almost 300 calories for that little pouch so I'm going to see if I can pawn this off on Lily.<br />
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Fin.LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-68929851382961038852016-05-29T08:59:00.000-04:002016-05-29T08:59:28.822-04:00[Insert self indulgent title here]I put my sweet, old cat Riley down yesterday. There are a bunch of reasons but I still feel like a dick. I kept thinking that I needed to feed the cat before I went to bed. But no cat. I heard a sneeze last night and thought it was him. Turns out that all this time it was Lily. Almost turned down the cat food aisle at the grocery store. Keep looking for him (so I don't trip over him) when I walk through the house at night. <br />
<br />
I thought about it and I've had cats continuously for at least 20 years. (I lived in Australia for a year and my cats stayed in Vancouver - if we count that then I've had them since 1989) More than half of my life.<br />
<br />
And I swear that the dog knows. He keeps giving me these looks. It took me a while before I could even think of emptying out Riley's bowls. I'm going to give his stuff away. The spot where his food used to sit on the counter is giving me little heart aches every time that I look at it. Sigh.<br />
<br />
I held him as he passed and wished him a speedy trip to a better place.<br />
<br />
Sigh.<br />
<br />
- Crazy Catless LadyLzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-24516787892873958342016-03-02T12:34:00.000-05:002016-03-02T12:34:15.628-05:00Point DefianceBecause you have to have a snappy title.<br />
<br />
So, this kid.<br />
<br />
This. Kid.<br />
<br />
Madi is still doing speech therapy on Wednesdays at UVA. Even Pedro has noticed that Madi's speech is improving. Yay!<br />
<br />
However.<br />
<br />
I'll try and set this up. Madi likes to pick her nose and we normally don't call too much attention to it because then it becomes a game. But I was trying to get her to stop during therapy and was using a tissue to try and clean her nose. Then, for some reason, Madi decided to put her feet on the table. She pushed back in the therapy chair (for lack of a better description) and we were alarmed and ran behind her, which gave Madi the chance to put her feet more solidly on the table. Then she jammed a finger from each hand, up each nostril and looked at us.<br />
<br />
"Whatch gonna do now?"<br />
<br />
Okay, she didn't say that but you just knew.<br />
<br />
I cannot wait for this behavioral therapy to get started. Should take a couple of weeks to get things going. None of us, parents, teachers, etc., have any idea of how to deal with her. She can do things, but won't want to do them, and that's where we're at. With our feet on the table and our fingers in our nose.LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-5935413944617162942016-02-19T09:01:00.001-05:002016-02-19T09:01:49.299-05:00Habba what?I really couldn't think of a post title so I went with a Yo Gabba Gabba quote. <br />
<br />
This Madi of mine.<br />
<br />
Yesterday, the bus driver told me it took three people (3) to get Madi into her seat. She wanted to lay on the floor of the bus. <br />
<br />
This morning, I could not get her jacket on her. She kept on pinching the inside of the sleeve so her arm wouldn't go down into it. I have no idea where she learned it. I think it's what the therapists call "an original thought". Brat.<br />
<br />
Hopefully, we have a behavior therapy assessment on the 27th. Man. Her behavior is probably the most challenging part of raising her. She can be very sweet and lovely and she's learned to hug us when we get mad at her. But we can't have her being so combative. We all offer her choices, but she still has to do what we ask. Is the bus driver supposed to drive with her on the floor of the bus? Of course, not. Am I supposed to let her walk outside in freezing temps? Actually, I did do that. Cause and effect and she's half-Canadian. She never complained though. Little *grumble*<br />
<br />
We've tried to set expectations for her and consequences because we know we won't be taking care of her one day and we don't want her to be horrible. The better she gets along with people, the better for her as well. That's so hard to teach though.<br />
<br />
<br />LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-52009963652388971082016-02-11T13:32:00.000-05:002016-02-11T13:32:22.160-05:00OopsWe've had kind of a tricky week.<br />
<br />
I haven't told Pedro, though he'll find out from here, that Madi has pooped twice in my room. She's gone a minute, definitely less than two and it just happens that quickly. And I don't mean, just pooped. It's on the walls, the blankets, etc. It's a poopapocalyse. At least that's what I've named them.<br />
<br />
And Pedro has started back at school so it's me and the girls for several hours on Mondays and Wednesdays. But Pedro has to redo a test so it's also Thursday and Friday this week. I'm going to have to check my Moscato supply.<br />
<br />
So I'm not even sure what day it was, I think it was yesterday? I had to go into town to pay some bills and I never brought my phone in with me from the car. I had a lovely, quiet afternoon as a result. But it turns out that I missed texts and calls from school. Madi threw up. I didn't find my phone until about 15 minutes before she was due to come home on the bus so I called Pedro, he didn't get the call from the nurse because his ringer was off.<br />
<br />
Could we look like worse parents?<br />
<br />
Oh yeah, and I hadn't sent a lunch in with Madi because I hadn't cooked the night before. I wasn't feeling well. And, as life was conspiring against me, I was out of ramen noodles for her. I sent in a ton of snacks, okay?<br />
<br />
So no lunch, no one picking up the phone...<br />
<br />
I'm not sure if this was also the day she called her teacher a "motherfucker". I think this was the day before. I have a potty mouth. I don't swear at Madi but if you've ever been in a car with me, or talked to me for five minutes, you know I swear a lot, just in general. Well, I was pretty horrified and I'm thinking they think I'm the worst mom ever.<br />
<br />
I wanted to touch base with them today after dropping Madi off from therapy. They push the kids in class. Special needs kids take more time to learn things and sometimes need more of a ... push. Well the kids get angry and frustrated. Especially Madi. Apparently she said "You are a motherfucker, okay?" The teacher had to leave the room. Then burst into laughter in the hall.<br />
<br />
Madi has a pretty limited vocabulary. So she said a five word sentence. That's amazing for her. The subject matter was probably inappropriate. Cough. It's a weird thing. She hardly ever swears at home. She swears when she's mad, but even then it's rare. So she has to be quite upset to pull out the B word or in this case the MF word. And it's wrong, but at the same time, here's this kid that has trouble communicating and she got all of that right??<br />
<br />
Sigh.<br />
<br />
Onwards. Today they were showing me how she can pick out her name on a name tag from all the other names. And she says Thompson. Thomp-ah-son. But it's adorable. And she's doing SO well in speech therapy. She catches on quickly. We're trying to build on what she knows. I'm so proud of her.<br />
<br />
So then I get home from school and I smell poop. I think it's the cat. I say, Riley, did you miss the litter box? shooo He gave me a look. I don't know what made me turn around and look in the living room but there it was. Mount Doggy Diarrhea. I know he went before Lily left the house because I was trying to get him back in so he wouldn't try and get on the bus with her. So I know foh sho. K?<br />
<br />
I think I've earned a nap. Peace.LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-88829904362205595802016-01-14T07:56:00.004-05:002016-01-14T07:56:43.067-05:0050I've been trying to do more for Madi. Help her reach her full potential. God that sounds corny. Anyway, since she's receiving the EDCD waiver (I still don't totally know what that means) we can move forward with more therapies for her. She had a speech evaluation in December and I was reading through the notes last night. One very sweet part said she was very engaged in the activities and was very social. THAT's a big chance. When she was little, not so much. So that warmed my heart to read. But then... out of testing scores. If 100 is the mean score of kids her age, she scored around 50. Sigh. I know she has a significant intellectual disability but it's always hard to see in black and white. <br />
<br />
Pedro and I were talking about this the other night. Madi was snuggled tight against him, watching a show. She's only a young child, mentally but that means she still acts like a...young child. She's still innocent and loves to be held and snuggle. (and throw her poop on the wall, but that's another story)<br />
<br />
I don't know how much things will change with us getting some help. I've learned over the years to be conservative with my enthusiasm because it never turns out how you might think it will. And I'm tired of having my hopes crushed. Should I start writing an emo song? Good grief.<br />
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And some princesses don't appreciate it when you sing the ABC song.</div>
<br />LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-69135287621927784602015-12-23T22:42:00.000-05:002015-12-23T22:42:06.670-05:00"Light, please."Kind of a boring phrase, right? It set my heart aflutter the other night when Madi said it. Her verbal skills have been ... there's no appropriate word for it. She's learned to say certain things to get what she wants "I want popsicle", for example and she's started morphing that into "I want banana" or, more shockingly, "I want up". It's starting to make sense to her. If she asks for things in a particular way, she can apply that request to other items. <br />
<br />
We're just amazed. I never thought she'd make 3 or 4 word sentences. Especially ones that make sense. She's started expressing when something hurts. She's started asking for hugs. <br />
<br />
She was assessed as being moderately to severely delayed. And this doesn't really change that - she kind of communicates like a 2/3 year old. But hell's bells, it's coming along. <br />
<br />
I didn't even know what to say the other day when she said "But it's mine". I think I was taking away the laundry basket. (Nice try, kid)<br />
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I have been depressed for a long time. Feeling like, things were just never going to change. I'm so proud of her and so extremely grateful for the support she gets at school. I KNOW they've helped her a ton. <br />
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Now about that potty training...LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-7473142086085969732015-09-18T11:40:00.003-04:002015-09-18T11:40:53.542-04:00Best laid plansWAAAH so I was supposed to finish up my training today. However, Pedro has had a computer issue at work and he won't be home in time today to watch the girls. Frack. I'm getting how it all works. I was worried about dealing with the kids, finding the stops, etc. But once you drop one kid off, you have a few seconds to check where you're going next, and the bus is quiet while the kids transition so it's a good time to yell and get them to sit down.<br />
<br />
So you know, I'm getting the hang of it.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, I have zero sense of direction so I have to do a lot of lefty loos and righty roos while I drive to remember. <br />
<br />
What?<br />
<br />
And those buses do NOT stop easily so I go super slow and keep the ambers on. Drivers stuck behind me LOVE ME. Not. But I'm learning and getting the kids home safe and that's what's up.<br />
<br />
I am SO crushed. I really wanted to wrap this training up. I'm only going to be a sub and since that can mean a lot of changes in times, I can do only do afternoons. If I get offered a route and I can find a place to drop the girls off or whatever, then that's awesome, but until then.... It just feels like it's never going to end.<br />
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The girls are good. Pedro's good. I'm okay. lol Can't really ask for much more, can you?<br />
<br />
<br />LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-46208608876842455902015-08-11T07:45:00.001-04:002015-08-11T07:45:07.519-04:00Puppy LoveI'm so happy for Lily. She loves her third grade teacher. And how did THAT happen? She's in 3rd grade? Preschool was like, yesterday. Anyhoo, Ms Davis is fun but a little strict and I think Lily does well in that environment. Pushes her a little. <br />
<br />
AND Isaac is in her class. During a tornado drill, he's the one that said "Lily if you die in a tornado, I die in a tornado." <br />
<br />
Good grief, he was 7 at time. <br />
<br />
Anyway, he's carried a torch for Lily since first grade so this should be interesting. She's told me that he's actually gotten in trouble defending her in the playground. She doesn't really know how to act. She likes him and when I've seen them together they do nothing but just pick on each other. It's like they're already married. ha! Anyway, I told her just to enjoy having someone who cares for her. I guess I should add that if he starts to annoy her to tell him to stop and/or to tell the teacher but I've never got the impression from her that he is bothersome.<br />
<br />
But how many people out there would like to have someone who is genuinely concerned with our well-being? Shoo.<br />
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She was drawing a cat yesterday and someone made fun of the tail she drew. Well, you know Isaac wasn't having ANY of that. <br />
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So cute. And yes, we finally got the bus this morning. :)<br />
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<br />LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-83720973582455993752015-07-06T14:26:00.003-04:002015-07-06T14:26:37.325-04:00TimeHow does time go by so fast? Lily is just NOT a little kid anymore. I'm just blown away by how she thinks and talks. She even changed one of her sister's poopy diapers the other day and cleaned up after. I know, right? <br />
<br />
Even Madi. She's still very toddler-ish but can blow us away when she wants something. She's started walking up to people and saying "pleased to meet you" lol that's about as far as her conversation goes but she's trying. She wants to interact with people. <br />
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It would be terribly nice if she'd stop pooping on the floor, however.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I'm still in training for school bus driving. It's a long road. I think it can be discouraging at times. There's a lot to memorize. I don't mind learning new things, but it's the DMV road test that kind of unnerves me. Not even the road test. I'm not scared of driving the bus. There's this thing called a pre-trip inspection. You may know what you're looking for but you have to enunciate everything that could be missing or wrong with every vital piece of equipment on the bus. That's a lot to remember. And my trainer and I kind of butt heads. He wants me to just memorize it whereas I want to know what something does so when I look at it I know what could break down. Hence the discouraging part. But Pedro's out of town this week so I have a few days just to chill. <br />
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HA<br />
<br />
I'm not training this week but I do have the girls. Lily has started her orthodontic treatment. She has spacers in her teeth. I think she gets the bands put in on Friday. I think. Maybe more measuring? LOL I have my hands full. <br />
<br />
I'm just so blown away that in 10 years Lily will likely be heading off to college. She loves art but she ate a grilled cheese sandwich while watching hernia surgery on a dog. Intestines and all. I couldn't look and I wasn't eating. My point is, if you have iron guts like that, may as well head into the medical field.LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-74344489358216272972015-05-19T14:53:00.000-04:002015-05-19T14:53:08.683-04:00Keep on keeping on<br />Shooo! So I've applied to work as a county driver for the girls' school. Well, in Fluvanna there are four schools, but you get the idea. I made it past the first hurdle, which was having a clean driving record. Next up, I had my finger prints done today. Then, if I pass the background check, it's onto a week of classroom training. Then, I think, there's a DMV test. Then there's the actual driving??? I kind of lost track. It takes months to complete everything. Just trying to line up my duckies in a row.<br />
<br />
And you know, I've spent a lot of time and mental energy trying to figure out what to do. So much of my time is fixated on the kids. I don't think I said that right. I can't do things because I MIGHT have to watch the kids. I can't lock in my time, unless it's evenings or weekends and you know, Pedro works full-time so watching the kids while I'm at work is kind of a bummer. Yes, spare me the kids are so great line. They are, but they can also be royal pains in the butt and Madi needs to be watched constantly. Which is exhausting. Grandma can back me up on that. <br />
<br />
So we need a second income and I can tell you from experience that quitting for the summer to watch the girls and then reapplying in the fall really sucks. The whole process of looking for a job. Just applying for one job can take hours. So yeah, I'd like to not have to do that.<br />
<br />
And then there's just random days off from school. Or "Staff Day" as the school calls them. It's hard when you're in an office to be like, uh yeah, I can't work because of a staff day. But hey, Sonia, why can't you use a baby sitter? Well, I did put some feelers out there and people got in touch with me who make more an hour than I do so... paying someone more than I make to watch my kids. Yeah. Not going to work. And Madi, isn't 100% toilet trained so a lot of places won't take her and she still doesn't talk so well, so I'm not leaving her with just anyone.<br />
<br />
Driving a school bus was one of the few scenarios that Pedro and I came up with (okay mostly him) where I can work, be on the girls' schedules, have some time to myself during the day, and work with people who completely understand what working parents go through. This is, for me, a big deal. I can hopefully get a job where I'll feel settled and productive (are those mutually exclusive?) and not have to stress when one of the kids gets sick (they get to sit behind me on the bus).<br />
<br />
Getting the picture? There is very little in the way of good options
for me. Are bad options even options? Wow I need some sleep. So
anyway, fingers and toes crossed. There's a long road ahead of me.
Here' s a pic of toddler Lily for randomness.<br />
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<br />LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-87439711942753407782015-05-08T09:24:00.003-04:002015-05-08T09:24:46.466-04:00Of courseI worked really hard on my application and cover letter to apply for a school bus driver position yesterday. Today? I see a flyer from the school where they're having an open house, of sorts, to get bus drivers. I'm so glad that I slaved over my application when all they want is for people to show up with a driver's license! I swear. Oh well, YES I'm going. No, I don't know how to drive a bus but they do train you and I did used to drive the Winnebago on family vacations. Mostly so my parents could get drunk in the back. I was 13. But I can drive. ;)<br />
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Alright, onwards. I need to cut grass and plant some tomatoes. First to find all the dog poop. O.OLzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-13019614328163414462015-05-07T09:13:00.000-04:002015-05-07T09:13:02.991-04:00Coffee and CougheeI know. That title sucks. Pedro is home sick with a nasty sounding cough. He was also up with Madi half the night so he's down for the count. I had some <a href="http://www.deathwishcoffee.com/" target="_blank">Death Wish coffee</a>. Yes, it's a real thing and yes, it's very powerful. It's also not cheap so I figure I use it when I need it. Which is every day. Amirite?<br />
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I finally, FINALLY, applied to a job today. It's as a school bus driver. I've tried very hard in the past to make my life fit a 40 hour week schedule and failed. This job, if I get it, is on the girls' school schedule. They get a day off, I get a day off. And if I only do one run morning and afternoon, I still have a few hours to myself each day. Sounds pretty darn good to me. <br />
<br />
I like working and making money. Feeling productive. But the kids. Oi. Last Friday, Pedro and I had made plans and then they called from school that Madi was inconsolable. Took her to the dr, who said she looked fantastic and then Madi proceeded to destroy the house. It's like, wuh? My point being, the kids, especially Madi, make it very hard to work a 40 hour week with any sort of guarantee that I'll actually get in all of those hours. <br />
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Anyway, onwards and upwards. LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-23338695000616037362015-04-16T10:32:00.001-04:002015-04-16T10:32:27.723-04:00Gathering dustLiterally. ha I have been kind of a lump this year. Yes, I have looked for work and even went on an interview. Then I kind of gave up. It seems like every week there's "something". A sick kid, or spouse or some major event I need to take care of. So I've tried to embrace it. A little. Volunteer at school. Take Lily to soccer practice and games. I guess I'm trying to live outside of myself. I mean, I've been trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life and I've been inspired by people who give themselves over to help others. I'm not going THAT far but I've decided instead of searching for a job, to take the ones that I do have more seriously. Like parenting. Housework, meh. Hence the dust. <br />
<br />
What?<br />
<br />
Lily has been so funny lately. We were all sick and Pedro finally came down with it. Let's say that some of his bodily functions didn't smell so good.<br />
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Lily: "Who died in there?"<br />
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Me: "Your dad is really sick."<br />
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Lily: "That smells really terrible!!! I can taste it in my mouth!"<br />
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Pedro and I are still laughing. <br />
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These pics are for Lily. "I remember preschool but I don't remember being a baby!" LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-14777384352621633072015-01-07T09:06:00.000-05:002015-01-07T09:06:50.628-05:00Happy New Year!I'm a little late with that but oh well. I couldn't believe I last posted in September.<br />
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I only have a few moments. My biscuits are almost done and I need to hit a presentation at the library about writing.<br />
<br />
It feels nigh impossible to get a job that won't be interrupted by taking care of the girls. My temp assignment ended so I'm looking for work. I'd like a part-time job, full-time is.. well, I only worked two, forty hour weeks last fall. I'd get to work and get a call from the nurse. I know the kids can't help getting sick or getting lice (grrr) but it wreaked havoc with working. Anyhoo, the other obvious solution is to work for myself.<br />
<br />
Without getting into too much detail (I am cramming biscuits down my gullet) I've always been very critical of myself and battled low self esteem so I shoot myself down before I do ANYTHING. This year I feel a lot more open to possibilities. I've been bending over backwards trying to live my life a certain way, a way that I was raised was the "right" way and it's been making me miserable. So I'm just trying shit out.<br />
<br />
My point being that I've always wanted to write but I thought I wasn't going to be "good enough". Enter Amazon. There are some god awful books that people have self-published. I understand that writing is a creative process and will take some talent and practice. But great day, some people suck hard and they sell books. So I'm starting my endeavor by braving the freezing temps (really freezing, not just "freezing" by Southern standards) to listen to a local, published author give out advice. For FREE!<br />
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Oh and Madi's been using the potty more, yay us, go team. Mazel tov. LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-81278913818725206192014-09-18T10:44:00.000-04:002014-09-18T10:46:11.100-04:00That word there!I don't even know if there's a word for what I'm going through. Madi has been frustrating as of late. Lots of peeing on the floor and my dresser (it's a 1930s low rider - I made that part up) poop on the sofa. It's been very very soul crushing. Is this going to be my life forever?? And so, of course, Madi seems to be making some headway in her development. I swear she waits for black clouds to form around my head. Anyway...<br />
<br />
She's been peeing on the potty (obviously alternating with the carpet) and she has a new sense of individuality. I tried to put her sippy in her mouth and I got some serious talk to the hand action. She even likes drinking from a straw now.<br />
<br />
**** Lily just interrupted me to ask if she could accept a friend request from someone on Littlest Pet Shop Pets or whatever they are, and I was thinking it was a kid. Middle aged women play this game??? WTH?****<br />
<br />
So anyway, I couldn't even feed Madi yogurt last night. She backhanded me so many times I still have yogurt in my hair. I had to crush her meds and sneak them in some liquid tylenol. The hell. Last night she very carefully carried her drinks and dinner and set them up the way she wanted them. I was like, who are you? Oh and she loves the word princess. Whenever she sees someone that looks even remotely like a princess she asks "princess?". And if I put something cute on her and call her a princess she gets very excited. I don't really know what to call this. More self-awareness? She wants to do things her way? I'm not complaining much (except for the yogurt in hair part) it's a great sign of her progressing in her development.<br />
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Also, she kept me up from 4 til 6:30 so she's not my favorite kid right now.<br />
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And Pedro shocked me when he asked for more vegetarian meals. Am I in another dimension?<br />
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I hope these videos load. As per usual they are sideways. I hope blogger is up to the challenge....<br />
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Our greatest treasure - the fart ray gun in action.<br />
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<br />LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-75965485534154042302014-08-12T09:54:00.000-04:002014-08-12T09:54:09.588-04:00SIGHI'm sure most of us know about Robin Williams by now. My brain just cannot process it. He was larger than life. I read an interesting article on comedians and depression. You can google it. I understand that part of it. I guess my shock comes from the fact that he was so successful he had access to help that most of us can't afford. I understand that depression doesn't care how much you have in your bank account. But that's what I stress about so I can't imagine being so smart, successful and wealthy and still feel so broken. <br />
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I do grieve for him. That such a bright star has gone still. I guess that's a cliche. Sorry my laptop won't let me do accent marks. It's just so hard to imagine that someone who had accomplished so much took his own life. Shit, I could come up with a long list of people who would make the world a better place if they were no longer in it. But Robin Williams? Gah.<br />
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So anyway, back to my crappy life. Ahhh I'm sorry. I know I have a lot to be grateful for and I AM grateful for it. I read another blog this morning about a mom who posted a picture of her kitchen and "advice" flooded in about how she should fix it up. And it made her feel bad like she needed to update and fix it. Then she had a moment of clarity. Anyway, I won't go on and on about it but I realize that I am privileged in a lot of ways. <br />
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I'm trying to stay hopeful for Madi. And me. lol I don't know if she'll ever sleep without medication. She doesn't sleep with medication! ha But anyway, the point I'm trying to make is... I often get depressed thinking about the future with Madi. And I know it's not just being bummed out from a lack of sleep, tho I'm sure that contributes to it. I need to get her new clothes and I feel like I don't even know how to do that. I mean, really. I've been shopping since I was how old? But I feel like I won't get the right stuff, or don't know what to get. That kind of screwed up thinking lets me know that something isn't right. Thankfully, I have this other voice in my head that says are you kidding? What the hell do you think Amazon is for?? But it's a struggle. Every day is a struggle. And I feel guilty, which makes me feel worse, because I do have so much to be thankful for. See how that works?<br />
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Anyway, life goes on. In one form or another. Do your best. Take each day at a time. Love others and make sure to love yourself too. And coffee. :)LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-49006892353921543082014-08-06T12:02:00.001-04:002014-08-06T12:03:03.389-04:00The other story... **spoiler alert**I knew that I wouldn't get much rest on our vacation and Madi delivered. Between her keeping us up for hours screaming and Pedro's snoring the rest of the time, I was pretty zombified.<br />
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Note: Hershey Lodge must have the rooms sound proofed because we didn't hear anything from our next door or upstairs neighbors and we didn't receive any complaints to shut up. Cool.<br />
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To be fair, Madi handled the four hour drive well and adapted to the hotel room, admirably. She doesn't sleep well, that's the norm.<br />
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Anyhoo, Lily wanted to do more than we were able to do and I felt bad. But my main goal for the trip was survival. I'm sure you can play mini golf almost anywhere in the world. Anyway she did get one swim in and managed to swim on her back halfway across the pool. I need to get her swimming lessons. Pedro is adamant that he wants to teach her to swim but she's almost 8 and still can't swim. By the time I was 7 or 9, can't remember, I was taking the life saver tests. I was failed on the last one, probably because I was so young. At least that's what people told me. Imagine a scrawny 90 lb ten year old swimming out to save you. :)<br />
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Anyway, room service really saved our asses. You could order from all of the restaurants. Even the bar. And I didn't think the prices were that bad. My sirloin steak was maybe a little more than I'd normally pay but OMG it was a beautiful cut. I almost didn't need a knife to cut it and no fat to speak of. I'm not sure my sirloin and their sirloin are the same thing. NOT COMPLAINING!<br />
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So I guess I should own up. When we first got to the room, I told Pedro that Lily and I were going to scope out the hotel. What I really meant was, I'm heading to the bar and having my first martini. Lily complained about the noise (there really wasn't any) and said it was probably because it was her first time in a bar. Thanks for that. It was really just part of the lobby. I did put my foot down and refused to let her sit at the bar, after she'd climbed up on a stool. I have SOME standards. And I got her a shirley temple to shut her up. I mean, for a treat.<br />
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There were fun moments. I ordered a balloon treat for Madi. She got 4 balloons and a humongous candy bar to weigh them down. Only two balloons made it back to Virginia. Next time I'll get it for her the first day we're there. She's taken one of them everywhere with her today. Including the dentist. That was fun. But her teeth look good, no cavities and no issues he could see. We got some fluoride painted on her teeth after they were cleaned. I think I'm lucky that she loves her fruit and veggies. Yes she loves candy too but she doesn't hold out for it. She'll happily steal lettuce from our salads and can't get enough raw sugar snaps. You know? We are very lucky.<br />
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Oh right, balloons. So I should've done that earlier but oh well. So Hershey Park is pretty huge. I didn't make it to the Midway America side. My feet were crying. Well, everything was by the end of the day.<br />
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Pedro took the girls back to the hotel around 4 and that's when I grabbed my fast pass. The last one. Oh boy. I've always kind of hated those people who cut in line when you've waited an hour for the ride. But hells bells, I could've maybe ridden two coasters in an hour, maybe. This allowed me to hit all of the nine major ones in 90 minutes, give or take. I didn't do the two in the Midway side because they were over there and because they looked like old school rides. Maybe I was wrong. I'm kind of more into the crazy twirly rides.<br />
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So the fast pass. At Hershey, you pay $50 per person and the pass allows you to ride one roller coaster an hour. They open up like 10 to 10:45, etc. NOW because I got mine at the end of the day, I didn't have to wait for any of them to open NOR was I constrained by a time limit. Like you have to ride the 10am coaster by 10:45 or you lose out. Do you see what I'm saying? I totally scored. I mean, don't count on doing that because they do sell out. I happened to fluke out. And I wouldn't want to be there all day waiting for the rides to open up. Seriously, it was meant to be. :)<br />
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Anyway, most people gave me the hairy eyeball when I was escorted to my seat. I feel ya. I hate those assholes too. But I was that asshole. lol!<br />
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So the first tide was Sky Rush, or something. Bear in mind I was trying to do this as quickly as possible. The rides kind of blended together. It was one of the rides that you can't have anything loose on, so I had everything stuff in my pockets. Usually with the fast pass you are stuffed in the middle row but they put me at the back. Everyone knows it's a little wilder at the back. Sweet murgatroid. Almost immediately I felt like my phone was slipping out of my pocket so I let go to shove my hand in my pocket. Well, the g forces were so strong that even me, teutonic brick house that I am, was being flung about in my seat. To try to counter the forces I tucked my legs under the seat and cross them and encountered sharp metal. Anyway, I stopped bleeding pretty quickly but my legs are still bruised. Also, I felt half undressed when I got off the ride. My shirt had gone up and my shorts down. Good grief. I mean, it was a great ride but it was something else.<br />
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There was another ride that takes off I swear you go zero to sixty in two seconds. I didn't know. I didn't know about any of these rides. So I'm looking to see where the next ride is and all of a sudden I can't even turn my head as we're rocketing up the track. I mean, holy crap. Can't they warn you?<br />
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Phew.<br />
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So there was the Great Bear which was loads of fun. Twirling one way then the other. The Comet was kind of boring. Sorry. There was one where you go forwards and backwards. That was fun. But the last one I did was Fahrenheit. OMG I put that pic on facebook. You go straight up then loop in a bit so you're going a little upside down on the way down. I screamed so hard. And laughed. That is a great ride. I couldn't stop laughing.<br />
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So in addition to my bruises and scabs, I'm hoarse. Oh poor Sonia. Having fun and cutting in line. lol I'm so surprised by how sore I am. I saw a bunch of bruises under my arms too. Damn. I am glad that I did this because if I've learned anything in life it's that you don't know what the future holds so carpe diem. And it just so happened that everything worked in my favor. And I tried to play it smart. Didn't eat much. Favored smoothies over solid foods. So I kept everyone hydrated and moving. <br />
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Oh and you can rent strollers there. I thought $17 for a double wide was a good deal. They have nice high handles too, which Pedro appreciated. Oh and we made Madi walk a lot. She actually slept through the night last night. I'm sure she's as tired as we are. :) Oh and we did make Madi go on one ride: Tea cups. hahahahaha She hated it. Lily was busy twirling the cup and Madi was trying just as hard to stop her. It was hilarious. Madi liked the zoo and seeing the fish and birds. They had a couple of wolves and some sleepy black bears. A shit-ton of geese. Good grief. They have stations set up at different parts of the park where you can pay for dried corn and feed the geese. Pedro and Lily did this and he said they are lazy bastards that wait for food to be thrown at them. I told them I'd see them at Thanksgiving. WHAT?<br />
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Since it's Hershey Park (and lodge) chocolate is featured in almost everything. Shampoo and conditioner? Cocoa bean. Everyone walks around smelling and smelling like chocolate. Lily and I walked outside one time and they must have had the factory fired up because all we could smell was chocolate. I'm sure you get the idea.<br />
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So here's the spoiler: They make macadamia nut kisses!!! I had no idea. They don't make them in PA, but don't think I'm not going to order some from Hawaii. I'll bet they're awesome.<br />
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I only have four martini glasses. Pedro helped me out. He discovered that drinking a martini in one gulp helps you sleep. *eyeroll*<br />
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Lily needs me to help her play her game. So I'd better go parent or something. :)LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-8138544347751691102014-08-05T18:56:00.000-04:002014-08-05T18:57:41.648-04:00Hershey a go goI'm hilarious.<br />
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Let me preface this by saying I'm so exhausted. Onwards.<br />
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First, (yes you can preface a first, I just made that rule) it was great staying at Hershey Lodge. Yes, it's very expensive BUT you get a discount on the tickets into Hershey park, almost $20 off a ticket for adults, AND it's like it's own amusement park.<br />
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What say you?<br />
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There are children's activities almost every hour. We got to see a golden eagle up close just because it was 9:30. There are pools and mini golf and a smores party every night. All included in your stay. All of the restaurants there are included in room service which runs 6am til 11 at night.<br />
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Big deal say you. Well, Madi doesn't do noise very well and had a meltdown the one time we ate in a restaurant. She pulled her hair after eating bacon so she smelled good the rest of the day.<br />
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But I digress.<br />
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Have noisy rambunctious kids? Well, so do 95% of the people there. No one will bat an eye or complain. It was kind of satisfying listening to other parents yell at their kids. Okay, yes you will hear kids stomp and run down the halls most hours of the day but then you don't need to feel guilty when your kid is doing cartwheels. My point is, it's a kid friendly place with lots of activities and a pretty accepting atmosphere for families.<br />
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Well, say you, I only want to go to Hershey's Park. Alright fine. Go there. Queue up to get to a parking spot. Walk 10 or more minutes or wait that long for a shuttle. Then queue up for your tickets. OR jump on the hershey lodge shuttle and be dropped off right at the entrance. We were getting serious stink eye from the people who walked. When you check in at the Lodge, you receive your tickets and a chocolate bar each. BOOM!<br />
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Someone once told me you pay for convenience and it's true. Was it worth it for me? Hell yes.<br />
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Also? The martinis are delivered via room service as well. *cough*<br />
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Hershey Park was great. I loved the roller coasters. I will likely be bruised and beat up for a few more days. We never even made it to chocolate world. How sad is that? We were there two nights and it wasn't nearly enough time.<br />
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Madi did enjoy Zoo America which is attached to the park. Was it the best zoo ever? No, but it was small and cute and the kids liked it.<br />
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I guess the only bad part was the price gouging at the park. $3 for a half a liter of bottled water? Really? I did sneak in juice and water. Well, not sneak per se. I just didn't ask. Discretion is the better part of valor. It's true. I learned it in a video game.<br />
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Gosh, we never made it to the Boardwalk either - the water park. I think we decided we need at least 3 full days and yes we want to go back next year. I still have more martinis to taste. :)<br />
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Let's see, in conclusion, the hotel staff were great, the amenities were accessible most of the time (I'm tired) and there were lots of things for the kids to do. Also a bar. Just saying. I didn't find the prices at the hotel outrageous. I don't know if I could find eggs benedict in town for $12. Right? And forget me mixing my OWN martinis. Although I do have a lot of glasses now. *cough*<br />
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<br />LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-29681658215347029472014-08-02T12:29:00.001-04:002014-08-02T12:29:50.390-04:00And now for something COMPLETELY different...I got to steam clean pee AND blood today. Oh boy. The excitement never ends. <br />
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Brewster is going to a new boarding place and I needed to trim his claws. I did a pretty good job but then I thought, maybe I'll try and them a little shorter... Poor guy. He didn't seem to be in pain as he ran around the house leaving a bloody trail. Oh I got the blood stopped. Out of corn starch so I used flour. His bed, which wasn't all that great to begin with, is now a bloody floury soup. whee! I will get him a new bed, keep your pants on.<br />
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Anyway, I called the vet and they said he should be fine by tomorrow. I thought we were going to have to cancel our vacation. Our expensive vacation. Well, expensive for us.<br />
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Anyhoo, as I was attempting to tend to the dog, Madi took it upon herself to get naked and give the floor a liberally dowsing of pee. I guess it's like my auntie said. My humor is my strength to deal with all of this. It's like a comedy of horrors. Did I say horrors? I meant, yeah. Horrors.<br />
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I've been doing this gratitude thing where I list what I feel blessed by because I feel it's very easy to get caught up in being miserable. Did that make sense? I'm trying to listen for Madi. The tell tale swish swish of a diaper being ripped off.<br />
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My point being, I'm not really trolling for sympathy. I think it's important to remember that as hard as my life may subjectively be, it could be worse and I don't think it's a bad thing to count my blessings. Especially when I'm up all night with Madi and I need to do something. <br />
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hahahahahahhaahah<br />
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<br />LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1511088246056222316.post-953154984657468262014-07-22T12:53:00.002-04:002014-07-22T12:53:46.734-04:00In the WeedsI'm pretty sure I used that title before but I'm sure everyone will forgive me. So hopefully I'm going back to work in a few weeks. Madi is absolutely awful at night. She's inconsolable. I've taken her to the doctor to rule out anything physical. It sucks. Pretty damn hard.<br />
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And of course I'm a fantastic worry wart so I imagine all sorts of scenarios where I'm homeless and miserable. Call it the curse of a child of alcoholics. I imagine children of other addicts can relate. Life is constantly dropping bombs on your head so you learn to anticipate all the bombs. Everywhere. Always. <br />
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I am trying to let that go but you try being normal when you don't get sleep. And regardless of sleep you have someone destroying your house everyday. <br />
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I know, I know. There are likely people fighting worse battles. I also try to remind myself that I've made it this far. No one's died on my watch. Not counting Siamese fighting fish. Hey he lasted almost 2 years. <br />
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But it's like my depression comes and goes. I guess it doesn't really matter. In a few weeks I'll be too busy to worry about stuff. Provided that I get my job back. If I don't I'll look for something part-time. Full-time with Madi is.... Well if she's the honey badger, I'm a fire breathing dragon.<br />
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<br />LzyMomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08709940070805910842noreply@blogger.com0