Toodles

Oh man.  I don't know if I'm coming down with something again, or what but I feel like crap.  I slept in and I didn't even care.  Usually, I'll bust my ass trying to get the girls to school but I didn't NOT care today.  I think I have a sinus infection, which sucks, but also my energy is like -1. 

I am excited about tonight, though.  I'm taking Lily to a Girl Scout orientation.  I thought she might like it but as I was telling her about my experiences in the Girl Guides (Canadian version) I realized just how much I learned from them.  I went camping so many times and learned how to put up my own tent and make my own fire.  I remember one time we camped out on the beach and it was a little wet so the leaders put plastic sheeting under us and over us.  And there we were falling asleep, listening to the waves pounding on the sand not 20 feet from where we were laying AND the stars so bright above us.  It's something I'll never forget.  :) 

So, no pressure Lily.  LOL! 

And Lily did have a great riding lesson on Sunday.  She was adamant about quitting and then just had a great lesson.  Funny how that works, huh? 

Madi... Oh Madi.  She has been talking more.  She's been saying "ma ma ma ma ma".  Not to me, necessarily but it's a good start.  We were watching a show last night and a character on the show was talking and I hear "Uh huh" beside me.  As if she was commenting. It cracked me up.  And she was a little busy bee last night.  The lights were out in the house but she kept on roaming around.  Brought me a cushion from the living room, then a book from Lily's room.  She's really starting to explore and interact.  Unfortunately, she's also still pulling her hair out. 

Well, I need to get moving.  We were supposed to get groceries on Sunday.  And it's now Tuesday so it's do or die time.  *eyes*

Hope everyone has a good week. 

Cranky

Well, Madi is the chief crankypants in the house.  Then probably Lily.  I'm a close third.

OMG  My asthma is back!  Shit fire.  And I had a good run at the gym.  Then I got that tickle.  Then that barking cough.  grrrrr  I have to try to find all of the parts to my vaporizer.  I guess cold, dry air can exacerbate asthma.  *eyes*

Poor Madi is going bald cuz she keeps yanking her hair out when she tantrums.  I figured she'd stop because it hurts but nope.  I showed her teacher today who said that I have to protect Madi from herself and told me what to do.  I said, okay, I'll try and she said, trying wasn't good enough.  Okay, bitchface you come cook dinner because Madi screams and yells (and broke two lightbulbs yesterday) every time I walk away from her.  I can't walk the dog, I can't get Lily a snack or a drink.  I can't talk on the damn phone.  So yeah, you come live my life for me and I'll hold Madi's hands so she can't pull her hair out.

When I said I'll try, I'll damn well try.

Told ya I was cranky.  I like how the specialists seem to forget about this little thing called life that parents have to go through.  Madi's been numero uno for a very long time.  In my opinion, she can learn a little patience. Yesterday, I was wondering if they made straight jackets for kids....

The good part is that the tantruming is kind of a 2 year old thing so that means Madi's development is moving along.  I'm trying to remember what she did yesterday.  She was behind me and pulling my hair so I leaned back slowly to squish her and she stopped yanking on my hair but called me a bitch.

Oh yeah.

Woohooo!  *eyes*

Memories...

Well, of course, now I don't have any.  I was driving the girls to school this morning and a weird one popped in my head.  I swear I'm going to start writing them down on the back of my hand.  And this morning's was a good one too.  Sigh.  Well, all of this rain is reminding me of Vancouver.  When I'd come home and it was still raining, I'd get all of my rain gear on and head out to stomp in the puddles.  I had the coolest see-through umbrella that dropped really low.  It was like being inside of a capsule that came to my waist.  Hard to explain.  Obviously.  Did a great job keeping the rain off AND I could see where I was going.  Anyway, I was a latch-key kid so I could pretty much do what I want until my parents came home. 

That's something I had to consider.  Lily is 6 and I struggled with letting her get off the school bus even if I wasn't there.  The school is good about taking that stuff into consideration.  Anyway, we are only one house down from the stop and I know most of our neighbors now, thanks to Lily.  And then I had to think, when I was a little 7 year old, I had a key around my neck, my bus fare in a little coin purse in my school bag and I had to schlep it home.  And shit that was all the way from south Vancouver to my house.  And instead of putting me in Tecumseh, where all my friends went, I had to go to Sir James Douglas, which I see is closed now.  Uh huh.  Thanks for a crappy two years of my life, SJD.  Cough.

Anyway, see, what a fun trip down memory lane THAT was!

Alright, crap.  Time to shower and head to the gym.  Remember what I say: no one likes a stinker at the gym.  You can't hold your breath while running.  *eyes*

Oh yeah, and Pedro is off to Alabama today to buy a gun at a military resale location.  He had to go through a lot to be able to do this so I'm excited for him.  It's his birthday present to himself.  :)

Next up: gun safe.

PS (I never thought I'd be girly about guns but I saw a hot pink Beretta and nearly peed myself)

Be my Crankenstein

I am a grouchy muppet today.  I know part of it is PMS.  Please tell me that goes away with menopause?  Or just lie.  Whatevs.

I bloat.  I mean, REALLY bloat.  I went to the gym today in kind of a tight outfit which I normally don't care about because it's old people there.  So why the hell was the gym full of muscly guys today?  The one day my boobs and butt are competing for prominence?  *eyes*  Sigh.  I'll go back later with Pedro.  I skulked out after hiding in a corner.  Good grief.  I mean, no one I know said anything so it probably wasn't that bad but I was freaking out. 

Freaking out.

*eye roll*

At least I'm good and drinking a banana strawberry smoothie.  And none of that frozen shit with all the additives.  Just bananas, orange juice, strawberries and raw almonds. 

Sigh. 

I had stuff to post and you 'd think I could remember.  Great day.

Anyway, it's very dangerous to eat half a banana bread loaf and two cups of raw sugar snaps.  Ooooh I could've put sugar snaps in my smoothie!  Damn.  Now I want sugar snaps.

mmmm nom nom

Okay, so.  After having kids my butt was FLAT.  I'm built very up and down-y so if pants are going to be tight it will be at the waist.  Well, not any more, sister!  They are tight around the butt now too.  My trainer got me started doing squats and lunges on the smith machine.  Holy crap.  So momma has a bedonkadonk.  And I've worked hard for it.  I just wasn't in the mood for it to be up in everyone's face today. 

Okay, so enough about my butt.  I need more sugar snaps. 

Madi is doing well.  She's talking and participating more AT SCHOOL.  We don't see a lot of new stuff at home.  Although, yesterday, she squished me and I said "ow" so then she picked something up and hit me in the head with it to make me say "ow" again.  Is that progress?  I guess.  Pedro bonked her on the head with something (soft!) and she yelled at him "Baaaaaad!"  So I guess that's good too.  You have to understand I want to be able to communicate with her.  I want her to tell me when she needs to go potty or if she's hungry.  Instead of smashing lamps and pulling her hair out.

Oh yeah.  Both of those things.  Every day.  She's broken two of my iPad docking thingies.  Lifts them up over her head and smashes them on my dresser.  Did I birth Baby Jane or what? 

Alright, Brewster is fussing.  He's taken to howling when I don't do anything when he barks.  That's fabulous, let me tell you. 

Hmpf

So, we survived the holidays.  It was a really interesting mix of viruses, not to mention two bouts of lice, that kept us in bed for weeks.  Ah well.  We survived. 

It was just really quiet in the house so I called Brewster.  He came in the study, put his head on my arm, looked up sweetly at me and then burped in my face. 

Yeah.  Par for the course.

Brewster is looking better.  He has/had scabies/mange.  He just smelled weird, even after a bath.  The vet took some skin scrapings and didn't see anything but he said the skin was infected and full of pustules where B had been scratching and biting.  I did just change his food because he wasn't eating it and it was about as cheap as you could get.  Hey, he grew like a beast and I couldn't afford to give him the good stuff.  Anyhoo, he's on good stuff now and poops like a boss.  Three or four times a day.  I guess the good side is that his coat is gorgeous.  Shiny and soft.  And the cats go for his food which is freaking hysterical.  I've caught both of them eating his wet food.  Poor Brewster.  I have to give him canned food so I can hide his pills.  The cats hear the can pop and show up and this food smells good even to me (Taste of the Wild?) so Brewster is trying to eat his food and keep the cats away.  It was making me laugh this morning.  :)  Hey life has been a steaming bowl of crap for a while now so any laugh is a good laugh.

Shoot.  What else.  Brewster has the run of the house right now.  The crate has come in really handy.  Of course, he'd rather hang out with us but until he's a grown up and better behaved we need a safe place to keep him.

So he's distracting me.

I need to get to the gym and I think he knows that so he keeps on semi-huffing barking at me to let me know he's not pleased.  Snort.

So Pedro is still keeping on with his diabetes.  I think he's been a little bit lax lately but it's got to be hard.  Ah crap.  My brain is just not working.

Alright, well let me talk about my favorite subject again.  The vet said Brewster will probably top out at 75lbs.  And I'm glad.  I can handle a dog of that size.  I didn't want a 100lb dog.  I can also tell that he's maturing because he will sometimes just follow me around the house and settle down somewhere to nap while I bake cookies, etc.  Not always, mind you.  But sometimes.

Alright, let me run and have a shower.  The water was off when we got home from the gym last night.  Yay.  Not.  There was a water main break.  And yes, I shower before the gym and you should too.  No one wants to try and breathe in BO while they are working out.  That's my tip for the day.

:)

Holy crapmas

Oh crap.  I just sneezed some more.  Okay, so Lily has been sick the last couple of weeks.  I spoke to her teacher on Tuesday and she said that 1/3 of her class was out last Friday.  Great day.  So I know she's not the only one who's sick.  And the antibiotics she's on for her ear infection give her diarrhea and make her barf.  She told me she barfed last night while we were all asleep.  Poor baby.

Madilyn had a 101.8 fever last night.  I don't know what it was this morning when she kept me up but she was HOT.  So I have two sick kids, and now I'm coming down with something.  Can we postpone Christmas for a while?

In the good news department, I did give out the teachers' Christmas presents.  Pedro watched the girls so that I could drive over.  Cameo's Word Up was on in the car and I happened to park perpendicular to a sheriff's car.  I looked and didn't see anyone in there so I busted some moves.  When I got out of the car I heard the engine running.

Sigh.

OMG I am having such a hard time posting my pic.  I don't know if it's blogger or Facebook but I'm getting mad.....  So click the link. 

Oh yeah, and Brewster.   A few days ago, he could not stop biting my hands or being a bad dog.  Running around in circles, jumping on the bed, snapping at my face.  I was seriously considering getting rid of him.  He doesn't hurt the girls but I'm like, hells bells, when is he going to stop being such a jerk?

Last night I was baking cookies (AGAIN) and he came in the kitchen, flopped down in front of the oven and fell asleep.  I thought, FINALLY! I hope it's a sign of things to come.  He didn't steal stuff off of the table, or chase the cats.  I know he likes being around us but he gets into everything.

Oh and I KNOW that he knows how to open the baby gates.  If they aren't locked, he knows how to push up the latch to open the gate.  Stinker.  I've tried working with him more too.  Partially for training, partially so I spend some time with him.

I just feel like life has taken a very sour turn.  My cookies aren't baking right, the kids are sick. OH and Madi has lice now.  I pulled one adult off of her so I'm hoping that if I keep pulling the nits off as I find them, then we'll be good to go.  *eyeroll*  There's a little boy in her class who the teacher says doesn't have a great home situation.  They are buying him clothes.  I mean, the teachers.  Obviously, families don't have to be rich to be good but it sounds like he's not getting the care he needs.  And that sucks.

Anyway, I think that all this crud that has peppered my holiday season has taught me to let go of expectations.  I wanted to create a fun Christmas for the girls.  Well, that blew up in my face.  I'm doing the best I can and that's just gonna have to do.

You know?

Peace.

Oh and who doesn't want to get up and dance to this?

My Day...

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!  Vampires can't swim!... Ah. shit!"

We're going to see Santa tonight so I'm resting up in bed playing Skyrim.  This game is taking forever.  I finish one quest and have 3 others to do.  I'm not sure how it's happening.  Having a long quest list is like having a full inbox.  It drives me batty.

Anyhoo, I've just had a hotdog and my daily pills with coconut milk nog.  The anti-inflammatory diet I want to start on New Year's is no animal products of any kind, so I'm slowly switching over.  There will be enough to contend with that it will be nice to have dairy off of my list.  I also see my doc on Thursday and see what she has to say. 

And I did some online shopping.  wheee!  I was going to shop at the mall and thought, am I freaking crazy?  So I used my Sephora gift card online.  My plan was to get Christmas shopping done this week.  We'll see what happens to muck that up... *eyes*

Pedro is doing really well.  He's kind of a whore for mushrooms and hummus now.  I think he had a blood sugar of 90 the other day.  It's not just that he's following the diet but he's learning to make choices for himself.  That's the part that I was dreading.  I'm not an encyclopedia of diabetes.  Or diabebees.  As it's known in my house.

Anyhoo, time to shower and get ready to get the girls so we can get ready to go in town. 

Why do I hear the Darth Vader theme?

I think I've expired

Honey Badger

It seems like everything is breaking down in me these days.  Okay, everything might be a stretch.  I tested positive for rheumatoid arthritis a few months ago and a few joints were sore.  For whatever reason, the last few days things have really ratcheted up.  I'm not all boohooey about it (okay I was a little this morning) because a) my mom had horrible arthritis and I knew it was coming b) the medications are better now.

My doc did put me on a good one a few months ago.  Cheap and effective.  But no drinking.  Longest 10 days of my life!  I like having a glass of wine with dinner, especially if I've put some effort into it and I want to enjoy it.  Sometimes the girls are horrible and I like a glass of wine to mellow me out.  It's for the children, really.

And I have other issues.  Brewster yanked my left shoulder so that's been hurting for almost 2 weeks.  Time to see the doc.  Sigh.  The right one has been messed up for years.  It was nice having ONE usable arm.  *eyes*  I just feel like, damn.

And I think what makes me feel it more is Pedro is feeling better.  I'm not blaming him, at all.  But it's such a stark contrast.  I used to be the one jetting around here and there.  Now he's going to the range or out hunting.  He's got more energy and feels better.  Whereas I feel like I've tripped into quicksand and I'm slowly going down...  and I like to be active.  I can't do pushups or anything really involving shoulders so that pisses me off.  I don't know if it's the RA for sure, but even running hurts now.  And having two injured shoulders makes them ripe for joint degeneration too.

So basically I feel like I'm headed up shit creek with no paddle and two effed up arms.  Yes, it's a pity party over here today.

Pedro has really been doing well.  He's been getting blood sugar scores in the 90s.  Of course, I remind him that that's with insulin and pills but better than 500, right?  I made stuffed peppers last night.  Lily and I only ate the inside of them.  Snort.  Pedro took one to work for lunch.  His whole world has changed.  I'm really proud of him for stepping up and making the changes.  I know it's not easy.

Sleepin' sisters.

 I was thinking of sweet things today.  Madi and her kisses.  Lily and her boyfriends. Brewster tickling my my ears with his nose.  I honestly had a real list before I started.  Snort. 

Well, I'm just gonna keep on keeping on.  Cuz there's not much else you can do.  :)

So...

Well, I made it to the gym and haven't had sleep but I'm still feeling a little happier.  Although, I forgot why. 

Crap.  I always have stuff to write about and then I actually find the time to sit down and I have no recollection of what I was going to write about.

Ding dang it.

Brewster has diarrhea.  I guess that's one way to start.  Oh Lily is a whiz at reading.  I'm so proud of her.  Oh and she got her first love note yesterday.  :)  She had to tell everyone everywhere we went.  :)

Madi actually slept through the night but I was with Lily and I had caffeine earlier so... I did not sleep.  I swear.  I did make a really yummy cream of asparagus soup yesterday.  :)  Oh and I'm craving pizza so I'm going to order a small one and then share it with Madi's teacher.  What?

Good grief there has to be more than that.  I am extremely grouchy because people kept on calling while I was trying to sleep.  Then my tummy growling kept me awake.  I did get a haircut today.  Not much of a change, I'm enjoying growing it out.  Usually it feels too thin but maybe all those gray hairs I'm hiding are making it thicker.  :)

Well, the dog is barking and my tummy is growling and shit just needs to get done.  I'll remember what I wanted to write as soon as I get in the shower.

O.o

Alright, hookers

I haven't watched True Blood in a long time but that phrase will always stay with me.  When Lafayette said "Damn, hooker. Shit!" I was in love.  I said damn, hooker so much that all I had to say was damn and hooker would echo from the other side of the house. 

Thanks, Lily.

So what is my damage today?  Well Madi kept me up from 2 til around 10.  I didn't take her to school and put Lily on the bus.  The little poop would NOT fall asleep.  I fell asleep playing a video game!  And then when she did fall asleep she only slept an hour.  I just chugged down a double serving of hot cocoa so hopefully I'll be able to pick up Lily.  I'll drive slow and careful.  Snort. 

I know I've been a big whiner lately but I feel like I've earned some of it.  Yes Brewster chewed through the vacuum cleaner cord, so we're now vacuum-less.  But he's also been chasing the cats so BG has taking to peeing in the kitchen again.  I knew I smelled something but I chocked it up to the cabbage rolls.  Which were delicious, by the way.

It's not like the stuff I'm dealing with is huge (except for Pedro's diabetes) but there's so much of it.  I caught Brewster chewing on another molding and the only reason he didn't get his ass kicked was because he outran my foot.  My gut instinct says he will be an awesome dog.  But right now he is an infuriating puppy.  He stole Lily's fish off of her plate (it was unguarded in her room) and Pedro hit Brewster in the head.  Brewster pulled his lips back and snarled at P.  It's like can't we all just get along?

Damn.

And Brewster has been pretty good.  Trying to live with less and less attention.  Lily fell asleep while I was combing her hair for nits.  I still pull them off.  Whether the eggs are empty or not, I have no idea.

So here's my beef.  Every day I have to deal with:

- lack of sleep
- Lily's lice
- Brewster barking for attention or chewing on the house or appliances
- cats peeing or barfing
- Madi having tantrums, but not telling me what she wants
- remembering to clean the litter boxes (but that rarely happens)
- cleaning and feeding Godzilla (the beta fish)
- doing laundry to kill the lice/eggs
- trying to keep up with the dishes
- driving the girls to and from school (not a big deal but that's an hour or more out of my day that gets ever shorter)
- and now trying to get ready for Christmas.

I feel like I'm missing something. I give Pedro his shot every day but that only takes a minute.  I always make dinner now whereas before we probably ordered in once or twice a week.  Can't do that now!

I feel like I'm forgetting something major.

Oh yeah, the gym but that rarely happens when I'm so tired.

Frack.

Anyway, I'm worn out and tired.  And the crutches that I used to use (ie ordering in) I can't use anymore.

I am grateful for a few things.  I'm glad that Pedro's diabetes was discovered before something really bad happened.  I'm glad we live where we live.  I'm glad that both of my girls are healthy.  I'm glad that Lily always has good checkups at the dentist (I never did).  I'm glad that Pedro never gets in the way of my getting coffee in the morning.  I only had to body check him a few times before he learned.  :)

I don't know, maybe I'm raving because I'm so freaking tired.  I have never fallen asleep playing a video game before.  EVER.  That, my friends, is tired.

That being said, time to go and get Lily.  And I AM ordering some pasta for myself tonight.  I'll share it with frick n frack (yes, we call the girls that) and crap, I just remembered that I put a chuck roast out. 

*stink face*

Argh

Well, let's start with the good news, shall we?  Pedro's blood sugar was 104 yesterday before dinner.  woohooo!  Of course, we don't know what it would be without the long lasting insulin but oh well.

And I finally got my computer back.  I mean, it was here but I couldn't use it because of Pedro.  *eyes*

So I pulled two nits off of Lily this morning and took her to school.  Then the nurse pulled 3 more nits/eggs off of her head.  Jeez Louise.  I do need to spend more time doing her hair.  Too bad I have another kid to look after.

Speaking of the other one, the school called me and asked me to bring her home.  She's been congested but seemed better today.  Well, she started coughing so hard that she was turning white.  So they said.  So everyone was home early today. 

Oh and Brewster chewed through the vacuum cleaner cord.  I'm like, of course he did.  Pedro's wanted a new one for a while so Merry Christmas to him.

O.o

I try to roll with life and do the best I can but it feels like life is doing its best to grind me down.  It sucked that we missed Thanksgiving dinner at G-ma's house.  When we went grocery shopping on Saturday, I saw hot turkey with gravy at the hot bar and got us some.  As well as a little stuffing and corn pudding.  We ate it in the car and that was our treat.  Like I said, trying to salvage things.

I have been really proud of Pedro.  He's taken this lifestyle change seriously.  I try to follow his diet too.  Somethings are ridiculously full of carbs!  Like juice boxes.  Shit fire.  24gm?  That's almost two carb servings and you only get 2 to 4 each meal.  (Depends on your gender and size and activity)  But still.  That could be all or half of your carbs!  Versus 3 cups of raw broccoli.

Anyhoo.  Tonight, if it's not burnt all to hell, we're having slow cooker cabbage rolls.  I had it on high, because it took forever to get ready this morning, so I put it on high versus low.  I smelled tomato sauce burning so I put in some water and lowered the setting.

If it's not edible, I'm getting pizza.

What?  Life has been really hard.  I know I'm not the only one dealing with this but I'm the one doing laundry everyday to try and interrupt the lice cycle.  In addition to all the regular stuff.  I'm the one cooking all the extra meals (well most of them) and doing the extra dishes.  I'm the one spending an hour or more a day on Lily's hair.   I'm freaking tired. 

The other morning I primed but didn't set the units on Pedro's insulin pen.  So I jabbed him in the butt and there was nothing going in.  Boy that sounded wrong.  So I had to set it and re-jab.  Now he primes and sets the units for injection.  lol  Man, one mistake.

And I get that Pedro's life sucks.  Well, not sucks.  But he's had to let go of a lot of his expectations.  And man does his stomach growl.  I do feel badly for him.  But he has a disease that he needs to manage.  I'm helping, but it's not like I can let him eat with abandon.

Alright, well I'm rambling.  I am damn tired.  And we still have a dentist appointment to get to.  Whee doggies!

OMFG

I can't... I don't have the words.  This week just keeps kicking me repeatedly in the lady flower.

So I can't even remember Monday.  Good grief.  Oh yeah! I had an appointment in town and Pedro asked me to drop off something.  I assumed the office was downtown Cville but was actually in Ruckersville - a long long long drive.  I love driving an extra 80 miles, don't you? Tuesday, I went in for the crown procedure.  First they have to grind your tooth down, then do all the measurements to get the actual crown.  So yeah, I was there for over 2 hours.  It wasn't 2 hours of non-stop drilling, but it felt like it.  I don't know why I thought it wouldn't be a big deal since there wasn't a root canal too. 

I had a root canal on a tooth that I had a lot of problems with and I think grinding it down was the least of my worries.

Lily riding on her own.  Damn straight!

Anyway, I woke up after a short nap Tuesday afternoon, and holy shit I felt like I'd been hit in the head with a baseball bat.  I mean, it was bad.  And a friend reminded me that I felt it because I still had a nerve in that tooth.  Ding dang it.

So that was Tuesday.

Today, the gym childcare lady found a lice on Lily's head.  Sweet fancy Moses.  And we'd just signed up Pedro for a membership and we were both working out and chilling out and up comes the front desk lady.  We had to leave.  argh

I obviously got the treatment for Lily as soon as I could.  I've pulled fewer than a dozen adult lice off of her.  But a few dozen nits.  I just stopped using the nit comb.  My nails are thing but sharp and are easier to use to pull the eggs off of the hair strand.  *shudder* 

And you know, when I have a rough day, I'd like to kick back and order food but I couldn't do that.  Pedro and his dietary requirements.  So I pulled a crappy dinner together.  Poor guy eats more raw broccoli than anything else.  I just, well, I'm on my third glass of wine.  How about that?

I have washed all the sheets and towels and who knows what that Lily has been in contact with.  I do feel lucky that I think we caught it early.  She's not allowed out of her room.  We're trying to minimize the spread.

And I think I have this right:

Madi in her favorite chair.

The adults are the ones that crawl and we've treated her and I've combed them off of her head (pulled a dead one off an hour ago and that was all I could find) so I don't need to worry about lice crawling onto my pillow.  Yes, I have to sleep with her. 

The nits could take up to a week to hatch, but as long as I'm going through her hair and getting them off I don't need to worry about them so much.  They are glued on.  Shit fire what am I trying to say? 

Tonight was like lice Armageddon.  I don't have the energy to do this everyday.  I figure one fell swoop to make sure none of the other rooms are infected and then banish Lily to her room until it's over.  Also, Pedro reminded me that I'll need to clean my car.

Alright, I'm writing "sigh" but I said something else.

So diabetes, crown, lice.  If there a theme or something that I'm missing?

On the plus side, Madi has been listening more.  I mean, she's a honey badger and does what she wants but for example, I was making hamburgers last night and shaping them in my hands.  Madi wanders in the kitchen and grabs the sink sponge.  I know she's going to put it in her mouth so I yell at her (I was excited) "put it away, Madi, put it away!"  So she put it on top of the counter and pushed it til she couldn't push it any more.  :)

At least someone loves me. 

ANNNDDDD I just heard a cat throw up. 

My boy Shadow.

On that note, it's time to go to bed with Licey McGee.  Peace out and don't let the bedbugs bite.  *shudder*

196 or 198

I can't totally remember.  But the point is that Pedro's blood sugar is coming down.  Yes, it's still high but mid 190s is slightly better than low 500s.  We are butting heads a bit now.  I said I would help him and I have and will continue to, but how many times can you tell someone that they can eat tomatoes?  I've started snapping.  Part of it is being tired of answering the same question, but the other part is that he needs to learn to do this stuff on his own.  I didn't have a great sleep with Madi.  Actually, it was downright awful.  She kept me up half the night.  But I digress.  I will have little to no energy tonight when I make lunches.  So I could make a mistake.  Pedro needs to know what he can eat because I'm not infallible.

I know, I was shocked to find that out too.

I did get out last night to blow off some steam.  Met some ladies at the local mexican restaurant.  One poor mom hadn't been out of the house in a year and a half.  Obviously, she gets out to take care of her family but that was the first time without them.  :) 

So you know, this isn't all about me having fun.  I'm glad that other women can get out there and catch a breath too.  :)

Anyhoodle, I have a very long to do list for today and since Pedro is feeling better, he's cracking the whip more.  And don't think that the neighbors don't notice.  One of them came over to say hi and commented on my young kids and the fact that I'm the one she sees outside working when I can.  Oh yes she did!  *snap*  Hopefully, now that Pedro's feeling better he can do more.

The change really has been amazing.  And I think I finally understand where he's coming from when he says it's scary.  He had a skin condition that cleared up almost overnight.  His energy improved within days.  He looks and feels better.  But compare that to someone who gets a cancer diagnosis.  They are probably going to feel worse before they feel better.  It's weird to him that he has a disease he has to live with but he's doing better than before. 

Does that make sense?

Anyway, time to cut the grass.  *eyes*

The New Normal

whee doggies!  What a week.  I'm proud of myself for keeping things together and getting the girls to school, etc.  I guess that's the weird thing about stress, I get everything done that I need to do and as soon as I lay down and close my eyes my brain goes to work.  If that made sense.  I haven't had a lot of sleep, is what I'm trying to say.  And I can tell the girls are stressed.  Lily, because she tells me that she's worried about daddy and asks me if he's going to die.  Madi, has been having more tantrums and I think missed her daddy. 

It was nice that Pedro came with me to pick up the girls yesterday.  Lily was happy to see me but deliriously excited to see her daddy.  She made all the teachers in the hall say "awwwww" when she threw down her bags and ran and jumped on him.  :)

So Pedro got his blood sugar down to 190 yesterday.  But then he had to eat.  It's getting there.  Sometimes the readings don't seem to make a lot of sense but we're working on slowly bringing it down.  He's so afraid to eat any carbs and I had to check his bowl last night to make sure he ate all of his rice.  Carbs give you energy.  You need to eat them to get through your day.  He was happy to learn that he can almost eat all the raw veggies he wants.  I sent him to work with a bag of raw broccoli.  And other stuff.  I made three lunches last night, and that's fine.  I know what it's like to be stressed out and just have tunnel vision.

Right now, in his mind, all carbs are bad and are to be avoided.  He has trouble choosing enough to make up a meal.  So I'll offer him a cup of milk, which is one serving.  It's already a big change.  I think we're all in shock from this week so it will take some time to discover what else he can or cannot do.  I know that sounds vague but right now he just wants to get off of the insulin shots.  Luckily, he's just getting one a day. 

It's hard because he is feeling like he has no food options.  I try to talk to him and tell him what he can have but he just wants me to put what he can have on a plate and he'll eat it.  It's like he'll do the diet but doesn't want to make his own decisions yet.  I can totally relate.  I was that way when I was on the GD diet.  But I got to eat fried chicken and burgers.  He can't have the fat.  :/

I am about to go to the gym and burn off some stress.  We've talked about adding him onto my gym membership.  Diabetes is going to be danged expensive.  Insulin is not cheap, good veggies from Whole Foods ain't cheap, and adding on another membership is going to cost us too.  But we get to keep Pedro so it's worth it.  :) 

Now I'm thinking how good it would feel to have a nice long nap....

Holy $%!^

I've been pressing Pedro on getting exercise because it can help so much with blood sugars.  He had a high reading after having half a turkey sandwich today and was kind of bummed.  So when he got home he went for a walk.  Blood sugar reading: 207!  woohoooo!

That's still high.  LOL  But holy crap, way lower and way better.  And we spent a ton of money getting him fresh veggies and good eats from Whole Foods.  I'm not sure if insulin or healthy food is cheaper.....