September 10th

It would have been my mom's 80th birthday today. 

I guess time does heal all wounds.  I can think about her and it's not so raw anymore.  It only took 18 years!  Actually, I've lost count.  She passed in 1994...  phew 18.  My neurons still work!

I still think of her often.  What would she think of the girls.  Actually, I thought of her this morning.  I have a confession.  People who are not "normal" used to make me uncomfortable.  That's probably true for a lot of people.  But since Madi is special needs and I see kids with more challenging situations than her, every day, I've gotten over a lot of my hang ups. 

Which is good because this morning, I saw Mya, a very sweet African American girl with Down's syndrome, playing with one of the attendant's walkie talkies.  I see her every school day and say hi so I didn't feel weird taking the radio from her.  I wasn't mean, I just gave it to the school attendant.  So then Mya says "c'mere".  So I walk over.  She takes my hand, rubs my fingers, then kisses my hand and holds it to her cheek.

How can that not melt your heart?????

My mom had made me promise that if I was going to have a kid with Down's that I would keep it.  She said they were the sweetest people on the planet.  *sniff*  I can't speak for all of them buy Mya is my favorite right now.  :)

So when I had a difficult time being pregnant with Madi, Pedro and I were having heated arguments.  He was adamant that he didn't not want a child with disabilities.  I can't even express it right.  Something about taking care of them when we're old and gray.  Which I could appreciate.  But we have Madi anyway.  lol  She's catching up quickly, and that's awesome.  But we don't know where she'll end up.  Will she be able to find a job?  Will she be able to live on her own?  I just try to take each day at a time.  I'm not the only one with these worries, I know that well.  :)

So on that bright note!  Happy Monday.  And no I'm totally not trying to avoid going to the gym.....