So...

Well, I made it to the gym and haven't had sleep but I'm still feeling a little happier.  Although, I forgot why. 

Crap.  I always have stuff to write about and then I actually find the time to sit down and I have no recollection of what I was going to write about.

Ding dang it.

Brewster has diarrhea.  I guess that's one way to start.  Oh Lily is a whiz at reading.  I'm so proud of her.  Oh and she got her first love note yesterday.  :)  She had to tell everyone everywhere we went.  :)

Madi actually slept through the night but I was with Lily and I had caffeine earlier so... I did not sleep.  I swear.  I did make a really yummy cream of asparagus soup yesterday.  :)  Oh and I'm craving pizza so I'm going to order a small one and then share it with Madi's teacher.  What?

Good grief there has to be more than that.  I am extremely grouchy because people kept on calling while I was trying to sleep.  Then my tummy growling kept me awake.  I did get a haircut today.  Not much of a change, I'm enjoying growing it out.  Usually it feels too thin but maybe all those gray hairs I'm hiding are making it thicker.  :)

Well, the dog is barking and my tummy is growling and shit just needs to get done.  I'll remember what I wanted to write as soon as I get in the shower.

O.o

Alright, hookers

I haven't watched True Blood in a long time but that phrase will always stay with me.  When Lafayette said "Damn, hooker. Shit!" I was in love.  I said damn, hooker so much that all I had to say was damn and hooker would echo from the other side of the house. 

Thanks, Lily.

So what is my damage today?  Well Madi kept me up from 2 til around 10.  I didn't take her to school and put Lily on the bus.  The little poop would NOT fall asleep.  I fell asleep playing a video game!  And then when she did fall asleep she only slept an hour.  I just chugged down a double serving of hot cocoa so hopefully I'll be able to pick up Lily.  I'll drive slow and careful.  Snort. 

I know I've been a big whiner lately but I feel like I've earned some of it.  Yes Brewster chewed through the vacuum cleaner cord, so we're now vacuum-less.  But he's also been chasing the cats so BG has taking to peeing in the kitchen again.  I knew I smelled something but I chocked it up to the cabbage rolls.  Which were delicious, by the way.

It's not like the stuff I'm dealing with is huge (except for Pedro's diabetes) but there's so much of it.  I caught Brewster chewing on another molding and the only reason he didn't get his ass kicked was because he outran my foot.  My gut instinct says he will be an awesome dog.  But right now he is an infuriating puppy.  He stole Lily's fish off of her plate (it was unguarded in her room) and Pedro hit Brewster in the head.  Brewster pulled his lips back and snarled at P.  It's like can't we all just get along?

Damn.

And Brewster has been pretty good.  Trying to live with less and less attention.  Lily fell asleep while I was combing her hair for nits.  I still pull them off.  Whether the eggs are empty or not, I have no idea.

So here's my beef.  Every day I have to deal with:

- lack of sleep
- Lily's lice
- Brewster barking for attention or chewing on the house or appliances
- cats peeing or barfing
- Madi having tantrums, but not telling me what she wants
- remembering to clean the litter boxes (but that rarely happens)
- cleaning and feeding Godzilla (the beta fish)
- doing laundry to kill the lice/eggs
- trying to keep up with the dishes
- driving the girls to and from school (not a big deal but that's an hour or more out of my day that gets ever shorter)
- and now trying to get ready for Christmas.

I feel like I'm missing something. I give Pedro his shot every day but that only takes a minute.  I always make dinner now whereas before we probably ordered in once or twice a week.  Can't do that now!

I feel like I'm forgetting something major.

Oh yeah, the gym but that rarely happens when I'm so tired.

Frack.

Anyway, I'm worn out and tired.  And the crutches that I used to use (ie ordering in) I can't use anymore.

I am grateful for a few things.  I'm glad that Pedro's diabetes was discovered before something really bad happened.  I'm glad we live where we live.  I'm glad that both of my girls are healthy.  I'm glad that Lily always has good checkups at the dentist (I never did).  I'm glad that Pedro never gets in the way of my getting coffee in the morning.  I only had to body check him a few times before he learned.  :)

I don't know, maybe I'm raving because I'm so freaking tired.  I have never fallen asleep playing a video game before.  EVER.  That, my friends, is tired.

That being said, time to go and get Lily.  And I AM ordering some pasta for myself tonight.  I'll share it with frick n frack (yes, we call the girls that) and crap, I just remembered that I put a chuck roast out. 

*stink face*

Argh

Well, let's start with the good news, shall we?  Pedro's blood sugar was 104 yesterday before dinner.  woohooo!  Of course, we don't know what it would be without the long lasting insulin but oh well.

And I finally got my computer back.  I mean, it was here but I couldn't use it because of Pedro.  *eyes*

So I pulled two nits off of Lily this morning and took her to school.  Then the nurse pulled 3 more nits/eggs off of her head.  Jeez Louise.  I do need to spend more time doing her hair.  Too bad I have another kid to look after.

Speaking of the other one, the school called me and asked me to bring her home.  She's been congested but seemed better today.  Well, she started coughing so hard that she was turning white.  So they said.  So everyone was home early today. 

Oh and Brewster chewed through the vacuum cleaner cord.  I'm like, of course he did.  Pedro's wanted a new one for a while so Merry Christmas to him.

O.o

I try to roll with life and do the best I can but it feels like life is doing its best to grind me down.  It sucked that we missed Thanksgiving dinner at G-ma's house.  When we went grocery shopping on Saturday, I saw hot turkey with gravy at the hot bar and got us some.  As well as a little stuffing and corn pudding.  We ate it in the car and that was our treat.  Like I said, trying to salvage things.

I have been really proud of Pedro.  He's taken this lifestyle change seriously.  I try to follow his diet too.  Somethings are ridiculously full of carbs!  Like juice boxes.  Shit fire.  24gm?  That's almost two carb servings and you only get 2 to 4 each meal.  (Depends on your gender and size and activity)  But still.  That could be all or half of your carbs!  Versus 3 cups of raw broccoli.

Anyhoo.  Tonight, if it's not burnt all to hell, we're having slow cooker cabbage rolls.  I had it on high, because it took forever to get ready this morning, so I put it on high versus low.  I smelled tomato sauce burning so I put in some water and lowered the setting.

If it's not edible, I'm getting pizza.

What?  Life has been really hard.  I know I'm not the only one dealing with this but I'm the one doing laundry everyday to try and interrupt the lice cycle.  In addition to all the regular stuff.  I'm the one cooking all the extra meals (well most of them) and doing the extra dishes.  I'm the one spending an hour or more a day on Lily's hair.   I'm freaking tired. 

The other morning I primed but didn't set the units on Pedro's insulin pen.  So I jabbed him in the butt and there was nothing going in.  Boy that sounded wrong.  So I had to set it and re-jab.  Now he primes and sets the units for injection.  lol  Man, one mistake.

And I get that Pedro's life sucks.  Well, not sucks.  But he's had to let go of a lot of his expectations.  And man does his stomach growl.  I do feel badly for him.  But he has a disease that he needs to manage.  I'm helping, but it's not like I can let him eat with abandon.

Alright, well I'm rambling.  I am damn tired.  And we still have a dentist appointment to get to.  Whee doggies!

OMFG

I can't... I don't have the words.  This week just keeps kicking me repeatedly in the lady flower.

So I can't even remember Monday.  Good grief.  Oh yeah! I had an appointment in town and Pedro asked me to drop off something.  I assumed the office was downtown Cville but was actually in Ruckersville - a long long long drive.  I love driving an extra 80 miles, don't you? Tuesday, I went in for the crown procedure.  First they have to grind your tooth down, then do all the measurements to get the actual crown.  So yeah, I was there for over 2 hours.  It wasn't 2 hours of non-stop drilling, but it felt like it.  I don't know why I thought it wouldn't be a big deal since there wasn't a root canal too. 

I had a root canal on a tooth that I had a lot of problems with and I think grinding it down was the least of my worries.

Lily riding on her own.  Damn straight!

Anyway, I woke up after a short nap Tuesday afternoon, and holy shit I felt like I'd been hit in the head with a baseball bat.  I mean, it was bad.  And a friend reminded me that I felt it because I still had a nerve in that tooth.  Ding dang it.

So that was Tuesday.

Today, the gym childcare lady found a lice on Lily's head.  Sweet fancy Moses.  And we'd just signed up Pedro for a membership and we were both working out and chilling out and up comes the front desk lady.  We had to leave.  argh

I obviously got the treatment for Lily as soon as I could.  I've pulled fewer than a dozen adult lice off of her.  But a few dozen nits.  I just stopped using the nit comb.  My nails are thing but sharp and are easier to use to pull the eggs off of the hair strand.  *shudder* 

And you know, when I have a rough day, I'd like to kick back and order food but I couldn't do that.  Pedro and his dietary requirements.  So I pulled a crappy dinner together.  Poor guy eats more raw broccoli than anything else.  I just, well, I'm on my third glass of wine.  How about that?

I have washed all the sheets and towels and who knows what that Lily has been in contact with.  I do feel lucky that I think we caught it early.  She's not allowed out of her room.  We're trying to minimize the spread.

And I think I have this right:

Madi in her favorite chair.

The adults are the ones that crawl and we've treated her and I've combed them off of her head (pulled a dead one off an hour ago and that was all I could find) so I don't need to worry about lice crawling onto my pillow.  Yes, I have to sleep with her. 

The nits could take up to a week to hatch, but as long as I'm going through her hair and getting them off I don't need to worry about them so much.  They are glued on.  Shit fire what am I trying to say? 

Tonight was like lice Armageddon.  I don't have the energy to do this everyday.  I figure one fell swoop to make sure none of the other rooms are infected and then banish Lily to her room until it's over.  Also, Pedro reminded me that I'll need to clean my car.

Alright, I'm writing "sigh" but I said something else.

So diabetes, crown, lice.  If there a theme or something that I'm missing?

On the plus side, Madi has been listening more.  I mean, she's a honey badger and does what she wants but for example, I was making hamburgers last night and shaping them in my hands.  Madi wanders in the kitchen and grabs the sink sponge.  I know she's going to put it in her mouth so I yell at her (I was excited) "put it away, Madi, put it away!"  So she put it on top of the counter and pushed it til she couldn't push it any more.  :)

At least someone loves me. 

ANNNDDDD I just heard a cat throw up. 

My boy Shadow.

On that note, it's time to go to bed with Licey McGee.  Peace out and don't let the bedbugs bite.  *shudder*

196 or 198

I can't totally remember.  But the point is that Pedro's blood sugar is coming down.  Yes, it's still high but mid 190s is slightly better than low 500s.  We are butting heads a bit now.  I said I would help him and I have and will continue to, but how many times can you tell someone that they can eat tomatoes?  I've started snapping.  Part of it is being tired of answering the same question, but the other part is that he needs to learn to do this stuff on his own.  I didn't have a great sleep with Madi.  Actually, it was downright awful.  She kept me up half the night.  But I digress.  I will have little to no energy tonight when I make lunches.  So I could make a mistake.  Pedro needs to know what he can eat because I'm not infallible.

I know, I was shocked to find that out too.

I did get out last night to blow off some steam.  Met some ladies at the local mexican restaurant.  One poor mom hadn't been out of the house in a year and a half.  Obviously, she gets out to take care of her family but that was the first time without them.  :) 

So you know, this isn't all about me having fun.  I'm glad that other women can get out there and catch a breath too.  :)

Anyhoodle, I have a very long to do list for today and since Pedro is feeling better, he's cracking the whip more.  And don't think that the neighbors don't notice.  One of them came over to say hi and commented on my young kids and the fact that I'm the one she sees outside working when I can.  Oh yes she did!  *snap*  Hopefully, now that Pedro's feeling better he can do more.

The change really has been amazing.  And I think I finally understand where he's coming from when he says it's scary.  He had a skin condition that cleared up almost overnight.  His energy improved within days.  He looks and feels better.  But compare that to someone who gets a cancer diagnosis.  They are probably going to feel worse before they feel better.  It's weird to him that he has a disease he has to live with but he's doing better than before. 

Does that make sense?

Anyway, time to cut the grass.  *eyes*

The New Normal

whee doggies!  What a week.  I'm proud of myself for keeping things together and getting the girls to school, etc.  I guess that's the weird thing about stress, I get everything done that I need to do and as soon as I lay down and close my eyes my brain goes to work.  If that made sense.  I haven't had a lot of sleep, is what I'm trying to say.  And I can tell the girls are stressed.  Lily, because she tells me that she's worried about daddy and asks me if he's going to die.  Madi, has been having more tantrums and I think missed her daddy. 

It was nice that Pedro came with me to pick up the girls yesterday.  Lily was happy to see me but deliriously excited to see her daddy.  She made all the teachers in the hall say "awwwww" when she threw down her bags and ran and jumped on him.  :)

So Pedro got his blood sugar down to 190 yesterday.  But then he had to eat.  It's getting there.  Sometimes the readings don't seem to make a lot of sense but we're working on slowly bringing it down.  He's so afraid to eat any carbs and I had to check his bowl last night to make sure he ate all of his rice.  Carbs give you energy.  You need to eat them to get through your day.  He was happy to learn that he can almost eat all the raw veggies he wants.  I sent him to work with a bag of raw broccoli.  And other stuff.  I made three lunches last night, and that's fine.  I know what it's like to be stressed out and just have tunnel vision.

Right now, in his mind, all carbs are bad and are to be avoided.  He has trouble choosing enough to make up a meal.  So I'll offer him a cup of milk, which is one serving.  It's already a big change.  I think we're all in shock from this week so it will take some time to discover what else he can or cannot do.  I know that sounds vague but right now he just wants to get off of the insulin shots.  Luckily, he's just getting one a day. 

It's hard because he is feeling like he has no food options.  I try to talk to him and tell him what he can have but he just wants me to put what he can have on a plate and he'll eat it.  It's like he'll do the diet but doesn't want to make his own decisions yet.  I can totally relate.  I was that way when I was on the GD diet.  But I got to eat fried chicken and burgers.  He can't have the fat.  :/

I am about to go to the gym and burn off some stress.  We've talked about adding him onto my gym membership.  Diabetes is going to be danged expensive.  Insulin is not cheap, good veggies from Whole Foods ain't cheap, and adding on another membership is going to cost us too.  But we get to keep Pedro so it's worth it.  :) 

Now I'm thinking how good it would feel to have a nice long nap....

Holy $%!^

I've been pressing Pedro on getting exercise because it can help so much with blood sugars.  He had a high reading after having half a turkey sandwich today and was kind of bummed.  So when he got home he went for a walk.  Blood sugar reading: 207!  woohoooo!

That's still high.  LOL  But holy crap, way lower and way better.  And we spent a ton of money getting him fresh veggies and good eats from Whole Foods.  I'm not sure if insulin or healthy food is cheaper.....

Grateful for the little things...

So Pedro is still in the hospital.  And people are asking what happened and so I don't have to repeat myself too many times here we go.  :)

So a couple of weeks ago, he started drinking a lot of water.  A lot.  And of course, said water had to come out.  I'm not being funny, but one of the signs of diabetes is drinking more water AND eliminating it.  Getting rid of the ketones.  Or something.  I guess I shouldn't pretend that I totally know what I'm talking about.

He borrowed a blood pressure cuff from his mom because his BP was high last time he was at the doc's office.  Last night, he was complaining that it wasn't working right because the readings were so high.  So I took mine and it was fine.  Well, then he asked to borrow my old blood sugar meter. 

And YES I always say that I tested positive for gestational diabetes, BUT I had shingles and didn't know it when I went in.  A major illness like that can skew test results.  And I was always under the cutoff when I tested myself.  (except for that one time I had cheesecake)  In face, my readings were starting to read on the low side (77) so I let myself eat pizza.  I figured the baby needed some calories!

So THAT being said, I still had my meter.

It said 486.  And I looked at Pedro, as if he was going to explain that to me.  I thought the machine was broken.  I didn't even know you could get a reading that high.  So I tested myself, and thankfully, my result was normal.*  So we tested him again and it was even higher. 

He called his parents and they urged him, repeatedly, to go to the emergency room.  I tried to talk him into going by himself but he wanted us there.  Which is understandable.  Also understandable is the fact that small children don't wait so well.  Anyhoo, he went up to register and never came back.  Lily finally prodded me to find out what happened to him.  They took him into a room right away.

I'll be honest.  Although I learned enough to get through my pregnancy, I didn't know much about diabetes.  One of my friends on the rescue squad said he could've gone into a coma.  I didn't know.  He didn't know.  So yes I am grateful.  It could've been worse.  The weather, though raining, was warm so I didn't have to bundle the girls up and deal with jackets.  The waiting room was relatively empty.  His nurse told him she was also a diabetic and that once we get this under control he will feel so much better.  I'm grateful to g-pa for driving up last night so I could feel better about taking the girls home and trying to sleep.  I'm grateful for friends offering to help.  Even though I'm not very good at accepting it!  lol  We all have our things.

Knowing my husband the way that I do, this is the easy part.  Getting him to change his diet and his habits is going to be the long hard slog. 

whew.  So now I am ready to nap.  Madi didn't get her medication last night and didn't sleep well AT ALL.  I needed to wash some sheets and towels in case g-pa needs to come over and crash.  Once I get those in the dryer, my butt is going to bed! 

Thanks everyone for your wishes for a speedy recovery for him.  Quite frankly, I know what a PITA he will be once he gets home so I'm trying to enjoy my calm before the storm.  :)

Peace!

* I am a complete and total sugar junkie.  I eat cookies and chocolate like the world is ending.  I know I shouldn't and I try not to but there it is.  This is why I go to the gym and run outside with Brewster.  And thankfully, that works!

Well then...

So Obama has a second term as POTUS.  Pedro wasn't impressed with my booty dance at 11:30pm last night when the election was called.  Mostly because he voted for the other guy. 

It's weird to me how elections have really devolved.  I remember my parents discussing politics when I was a kid and they were more concerned with taxes, budgets, etc.  There was little to no name calling.  You voted according to your interests. 

And I mentioned that this morning.  I get why some people vote Republican, I know business owners and people concerned about their taxes or the deficit.  But we have a special needs child who has a pre-existing condition and it could be difficult to insure her down the road.  And my kids are both in school, so education is important to me.  AND as a woman, I don't need anyone telling me what I can and cannot do with my body. 

Okay, now I touched a hot spot.  lol

My point is, people vote for their interests.  Why demonize each other for it?

Also, two of my friends, formerly Canadian, voted in the US election for the first time.  It's making me wonder if I should become a citizen...

Tra la la

So, I've been shopping online lately.  Well, I don't do a lot of shopping anymore.  But I needed some things and figured that Pedro owed me.  You know it's true.  Anyway, I was looking at sleep wear and a lot of the pajama bottoms were Christmas themed.  I started singing Christmas carols.  Wow.  How easily are we trained? 

I have Madi home sick today.  Not to worry.  We had a three hour nap together.  whew  Man, I feel way better.  The past several weeks have sucked.  I know it's all relative.  We have a home and cars, etc.  I guess I've gotten used to having time to myself during the week.  Well that hasn't happened at all this week.  At. All. 

I guess the good part of having Madi home is that she may have the same symptoms as Lily, but she doesn't whine about it.  I can see Madi shiver, (and put more clothes on her) but with Lily it's "I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COLD!"  It just makes you not want to help her. 

hahahahahahaa  Madi was "talking" to herself "ayayayayayayayayayayayayaya" and Brewster walked up to the door and whined loudly at her to make her stop.

Snort. 

I do try to enjoy my little life.  I haven't been to the gym in weeks though.  Last week, I was so run down.  Sleeping as much as I could and then getting sick.  This week I've felt better but I've had sick kids to deal with. 

Pedro was complaining about Lily last night and I said "well, no one said parenting was easy."  He looked a little surprised.  lol  But it's true.

I've always looked forward to the girls getting older and more independent.  But now I'm thinking, Lily is going to require MORE watching the older she gets.  And who knows if/when Madi will be independent. 

So I drink my moscato and forge onwards.  And nap a lot. :)

Oh yeah, and because of Lily's throat she couldn't go trick or treating.  :/  How much does that suck?  But a very sweet friend brought over a surprise halloween gift cauldron.  :)  So Lily did have one surprise and we let her stay up late watching movies in her costume.  So I think the night was salvaged.  :)