Ugh

We had another bad night with Madi.  Well, maybe bad isn't the word.  I think they went to bed around 9 and she was up at 4:30.  UP.  Pedro had to go to work so I was stuck with her.  Oh yeah, I said stuck with.

I knew, KNEW, she'd fall asleep around the time that the alarm would go off and she didn't disappoint me there.  She has a behavioral therapy appointment today.  Which is fine but it kind of screws up my day.  I know, I'm a sucky mom.  I don't live for their enjoyment.  Or something.  And I don't know if Melatonin is working so well.  I remember before I had kids, thinking that I'd NEVER pump them full of drugs just to make my life easier.  What drug are we on now?  We're a family and we have to function.  We all need sleep, even little poopie head. 

I want to go back to work.  Yes, I'd like some autonomy or whatever that word means (I've been up since 4:30 ho bags) but I also want to be able to take care of the family in case something happens to Pedro.  And how can two incomes be bad?  I know, I know.  Not if it something or other the family.  Look, Lily is tired of this crap and so am I.  It's like we're stuck in a rut.  So let's git this wagon down the road. 

I think I start work next week.  Not really sure.  I have been offered a job.  But they are still doing the background check.  weeeee!  Anyway, I could crash and burn or it could work out.  Just don't know.  But I'm tired of not trying things because of all the things that COULD go wrong. 

My other motto this year:  Do your best.  That's all I can do.  (Other motto: Let it go) 

I should write a book or some crap.

Alright, time to get to therapy!