Oof

So we're making it day by day. Both girls have double ear infections. Lily started her meds on Sunday so today she's doing a lot better. Madi only started her antibiotics yesterday so she's still hurting. :/ I was getting really frustrated because Madi was SO clingy but not exhibiting any signs (that I could see) of what was wrong with her. I mean, she screams if I leave her for 30 seconds and I'm sorry, but I have stuff to do. :/

Hopefully, by tomorrow things will be better with them both. I'm just not sure if Lily should go to school. Maybe we'll see how she feels. You can't catch ear infections, of course, but I don't know if she's still carrying the original bugs. She lost 2.5 pounds! She wasn't all that hungry and when she did eat it came back up. But both of them had a pretty good dinner last night so....

And I think I got more sleep last night too. I mean, Madi woke me up but for less time and less frequently. I still feel like my head is in a fog though. Yesterday was hell. I mean, mostly for me. I reached a point by 3pm that I couldn't go on anymore. So I tried napping on the living room floor and I may as well have tried sleeping on the interstate. :P

Well, someone is calling for me again...

We are

definitely due for an update. So Lily is off staying the weekend with her grandparents. Everything just seemed to come into place for that. G-ma and g-pa were here to watch the girls while I went and had a mammogram. I'm not much into baring my soul before big events so I kept this mostly quiet. At my last OB/GYN visit she found a mass - she wasn't worried I wasn't really worried but with my family history of breast cancer I went in and had a mammogram and an ultrasound.

I'm all good!

For now anyway. I'm trying to lose weight (fat people produce more estrogen which is related to breast cancer) but I still find it really hard to do while sleep deprived. I eat or drink things to get a little boost to get me through the day. There are days that I put a show on for Madi and just flake out and snooze on the sofa. I HATE doing that but sometimes I get that - I cannot go on - feeling. :P

So Pedro finally let Lily go. LOL I mean to her g-ma's house. I think it helped that he wasn't here at the time. I'm not being mean, I did call him and ask him if he was okay with it. I know he feels left out of decisions. Lily asks almost everyday to go to her g-ma's house (she's even asked to go to M'Lou's house) so she loves her family and wants to spend time with them. That's not a bad thing to encourage, you know?

Well, I'm sort of enjoying my Lily time. It is a little bit easier caring for one kid vs two. Even if Lily takes care of herself most of the time. Madi however has stepped up her game. She woke me up at 1:30. WHY? I want to know WHY. I am getting frustrated and to the end of my rope. She can't tell me what's wrong yet and I've tried all that I can. argh

Anyway, she did take two steps last night so that was good. hmpf

Thinking

... about putting the girls in daycare for a month. Last night Pedro slept with Madi, and I got about 5.5 hours of sleep in a row. More than I've had in a week. Okay? I don't know when she's going to sleep through the night, I know someone who's son was 4 before he started sleeping through the night. It could be a long hard slog.

What I'm thinking is that I could get a baby sitter or a mother's helper but I never know when I'm not going to get sleep or when I'll need some. So if I put the both of them in daycare for say, the month of June, think of all the sweet rest I can get! And Lily won't miss her school too much (as it ends in May) and Madi's world will be expanded.

The drawbacks? Well, it would be expensive. Possibly $800 for a month. And I'll have to find a place that's willing to do this. But could you imagine the sleep I could get???

I know that we all have our problems but I've had a headache for over a week, I've been coughing for 4 weeks, I keep on getting sores in my mouth. It's like I'm just barely hanging on and I need time to rest and recuperate. Sigh.

Anyway, I still kind of like this idea. Maybe I can find a place that would let me put them in for just a week. That would even be awesome! I just need rest and I need to heal.

In other news, I went to a burlesque show last night. wheeee doggies! I'm not sure of the underwear was actually made out of fishing line but I wasn't going to get close enough to find out. The main dancer was really good and the "sideshow" stunts were pretty good. It was a girl who did the sword swallowing and fire eating. The guy just pounded nails into his head. :P

At least I feel like I can cross a few things off of my list of things to see before I die. :)

rough night

Miss Madi kept me up a lot last night. Pedro came in to see if I wanted help. I thought it was like 6am. He said it was 2:30. I thought it was 6 because I didn't get a lot of sleep after that. So you can imagine how I feel today.

I have to admit this is hard. Really hard. I did run into a friend who said her son is only now sleeping through the night and he's 4. So I know I'm not the only one. It is nice having someone to talk to who can relate. A lot of mothers, I'm sure, think it might not be as bad as I'm making it out, etc. I mean, if you have 3 kids and they're all in bed by 7pm, you can't really relate to someone whose child falls asleep at 10:30pm and wakes up all night. gah

Anyway, I'm off to get some groceries and run about 30 errands. With gas prices getting so high, I don't go into town unless I NEED to. This will probably help me lose weight as I'm not going to just drive into town to get cupcakes. :P

And yes, this is a crown that Lily made in pre-school. I think it's better than any I ever made. She is awesome. :) And no, Pedro didn't punch me in the face - Lily did my makeup.

Geez

So we're all laid pretty low around here today. Madi's still taking antibiotics since the urine culture reacted to the antibiotics she's on. Her pee smells WAY better. Lily's taking a different antibiotic for her ear infection. She scared me yesterday. She couldn't stop crying. I got her to take some tylenol, she had a short nap and woke up Tigger. She wouldn't stop bouncing around! Argh

We went to see a different doc since our local office was booked. He was a VERY nice man. Looked like he should still be in residency. Does it mean you're getting old when your doctors look young? Dang.

So yesterday was Pancake Day and the doc's office just happened to be by an IHOP. I wasn't sure I could take care of both of the girls but I thought, nothing ventured, nothing broken. I mean, gained.

Lily was actually good and Madilyn didn't launch herself out of the highchair so we were all good. Madi was shoving her scrambled eggs in her mouth, hand over fist. However, there was a family that came in after us and was seated next to us that had weird little girls. They were STARING at Madi and making comments. Y'all know me - I was trying not to give the Glare of Death. The mom was telling them how old she thought Madi was. She was WRONG. Look, b*tch, I don't take my kids out so that other people can rate how well they eat. She was doing damn well and eating all her food. Lily was also doing exceptionally well - although she stopped eating after putting pepper on her pancakes but you know, haven't we all done that? :)

Shortly thereafter Lily announces that she has to poo poo and in a loud enough voice that a man in a booth tells us, without us asking, where the bathroom is. *rolling eyes* He just laughed and said he had 6 kids and 9 grandkids so he wasn't put off his FOOD. Jeez Lily.

On the way out, Lily says to me "You're the best mommy ever."

Ahhhhh, she plays me like a big dumb cello.