In the Weeds

I'm pretty sure I used that title before but I'm sure everyone will forgive me.  So hopefully I'm going back to work in a few weeks.  Madi is absolutely awful at night.  She's inconsolable.  I've taken her to the doctor to rule out anything physical.  It sucks.  Pretty damn hard.

And of course I'm a fantastic worry wart so I imagine all sorts of scenarios where I'm homeless and miserable.  Call it the curse of a child of alcoholics.  I imagine children of other addicts can relate.  Life is constantly dropping bombs on your head so you learn to anticipate all the bombs.  Everywhere.  Always. 

I am trying to let that go but you try being normal when you don't get sleep.  And regardless of sleep you have someone destroying your house everyday. 

I know, I know.  There are likely people fighting worse battles.  I also try to remind myself that I've made it this far.  No one's died on my watch.  Not counting Siamese fighting fish.  Hey he lasted almost 2 years. 

But it's like my depression comes and goes.  I guess it doesn't really matter.  In a few weeks I'll be too busy to worry about stuff.  Provided that I get my job back.  If I don't I'll look for something part-time.  Full-time with Madi is.... Well if she's the honey badger, I'm a fire breathing dragon.