Oh boy

I will admit to having trouble with parenting. My own parents weren't really absent parents, I mean they were in the house, but they didn't spend a lot of time with me. Really. Once I learned how to cook, I hardly saw them. So I thought being a parent was a breeze. A few minutes here or there.

Reality is much harder. For one, Madilyn is an extremely clingy and needy kid. Then there's the fact that I don't want to raise the girls like my parents raised me. So that means a lot of hitting is out. My dad was very strict and I got a lot of spankings, sometimes with a belt. Sometimes he slapped my face. It was pretty rough.

So, that's what I know.

I know about counting and time out but holy crap, Lily is not down with it. She was acting up and started spitting at me. So I told her to go to time out and I held her there for a bit. When she wouldn't stop fighting me, I let go of her and went to her room to get her laptop. I took her laptop after she was warned to stop yelling/stomping/hitting. If anything that made her angrier. I thought maybe ignoring her would help. Since that worked for Madilyn and her hitting her head on the floor. I did the dishes. Lily kicked over the baby gate. Stomped on it, threw her step stools, etc. By this point I was ready to put her head through a wall.

What I did instead was, hopefully, calmly take a garbage bag and head for her room. She knew exactly what this meant and stopped everything. I started putting toys in the bag while she began crying and pleading for me to stop. So we had a talk.

Apparently, she hates her sister and wants her to go back in my belly. I tried to explain that's not going to happen.

I really don't know what else to do. It's my opinion that when Pedro yells at her, it teaches her that it's okay to yell. I think she pitches fits to get attention. I don't want to reward the behavior and I've noticed that spankings don't seem to work.

Taking her toys away sure gets her attention. I've read my share of books but I know that each kid is different. One mom I know has found that money really motivates her son. I don't think that Lily is a bad kid but she had a lot of spunk and really seems to enjoy fighting.

I'm trying to listen to her more and treat her more kindly (hoping she'll follow my lead). Sigh.

At least I have lots of garbage bags.