Madilyn is destroying our lives...

No, seriously. She kept me up from 3:30 til 6:30. After initially waking me up at 2:30.

Yes, we went to see the sleep specialist on Monday pm. We talked for quite a while and he's a.... intelligent, willing to listen, but I don't know if he really got what I was trying to say about madi.

He said she really really really needs a routine. I said that I couldn't believe that a routine was the only thing keeping madilyn from sleeping. A child doesn't throw themselves across a bed because they don't have a set bedtime.

Oh yes, I did.

So the funny thing is that I swear Madi was listening to him. The doctor guy. The last two days we've gotten up at 7:30. She has set nap times and if she misses them, oh well. She tried to sneak a nap in at 6 last night and I got her up and moving. Man was she pissed. But she crashed at 9:30 which was just about when the doc said she should.

So what went wrong???

See the doc thinks she's getting too much sleep. He may be right, she may not need as much but she's developmentally delayed so there's no way that I wasn't going to let her sleep. You know? Anyhoo, he did warn me that it was going to be tough. and I mean, I knew that too.

Also? my keyboard sucks. I hit the shift key every time that I need to and it doesn't always work. *eyes*

Anyway, so last night I couldn't sleep. I was even in bed, lights out by 10:05. that's amazing for me. I think I finally fell asleep around 11:30. So when Madi woke up at 2:30, it was kind of a rude awakening. She did sleep 5 hours. Which is good for her. Isn't that sad?

I keep on telling myself, just make it through til she's older and can entertain herself. I think I'm just at a spot where I think, there's no guarantee THAT will even happen. Poor Lily has been taking the brunt of my temper. Mostly because she shows up at the worst possible time. It's not her fault that her sister keeps me up half the night. Lily wants attention too and just happens to want it when I need my sleep the most.

And Pedro's staying at home today to let me get some rest. Except that I'm awake while the AC guy is here (nothing is wrong, just maintenance) and he's asleep.

Madi's not sleeping affects everyone, whether it's directly (me not sleeping) or indirectly (me yelling at Lily). I'm going to keep up the routine because we need it for when she starts school in 6 or 7 weeks. But most days I feel like running away. In my mind, I'm turning a corner from Sleep Deprivation Lane into Psychotic Alley. :/