SIGH

I'm sure most of us know about Robin Williams by now.  My brain just cannot process it.  He was larger than life.  I read an interesting article on comedians and depression.  You can google it.  I understand that part of it.  I guess my shock comes from the fact that he was so successful he had access to help that most of us can't afford.  I understand that depression doesn't care how much you have in your bank account.  But that's what I stress about so I can't imagine being so smart, successful and wealthy and still feel so broken.  

I do grieve for him.  That such a bright star has gone still.  I guess that's a cliche.  Sorry my laptop won't let me do accent marks.  It's just so hard to imagine that someone who had accomplished so much took his own life.  Shit, I could come up with a long list of people who would make the world a better place if they were no longer in it.  But Robin Williams?  Gah.

So anyway, back to my crappy life.  Ahhh I'm sorry.  I know I have a lot to be grateful for and I AM grateful for it.  I read another blog this morning about a mom who posted a picture of her kitchen and "advice" flooded in about how she should fix it up.  And it made her feel bad like she needed to update and fix it.  Then she had a moment of clarity.  Anyway, I won't go on and on about it but I realize that I am privileged in a lot of ways. 

I'm trying to stay hopeful for Madi.  And me.  lol  I don't know if she'll ever sleep without medication.  She doesn't sleep with medication!  ha  But anyway, the point I'm trying to make is... I often get depressed thinking about the future with Madi.  And I know it's not just being bummed out from a lack of sleep, tho I'm sure that contributes to it.  I need to get her new clothes and I feel like I don't even know how to do that.  I mean, really.  I've been shopping since I was how old?  But I feel like I won't get the right stuff, or don't know what to get.  That kind of screwed up thinking lets me know that something isn't right.  Thankfully, I have this other voice in my head that says are you kidding?  What the hell do you think Amazon is for??  But it's a struggle.  Every day is a struggle.  And I feel guilty, which makes me feel worse, because I do have so much to be thankful for.  See how that works?

Anyway, life goes on.  In one form or another.  Do your best.  Take each day at a time.  Love others and make sure to love yourself too.  And coffee.  :)

The other story... **spoiler alert**

I knew that I wouldn't get much rest on our vacation and Madi delivered.  Between her keeping us up for hours screaming and Pedro's snoring the rest of the time, I was pretty zombified.

Note:  Hershey Lodge must have the rooms sound proofed because we didn't hear anything from our next door or upstairs neighbors and we didn't receive any complaints to shut up.  Cool.

To be fair, Madi handled the four hour drive well and adapted to the hotel room, admirably.  She doesn't sleep well, that's the norm.

Anyhoo, Lily wanted to do more than we were able to do and I felt bad.  But my main goal for the trip was survival.  I'm sure you can play mini golf almost anywhere in the world.  Anyway she did get one swim in and managed to swim on her back halfway across the pool.  I need to get her swimming lessons.  Pedro is adamant that he wants to teach her to swim but she's almost 8 and still can't swim.  By the time I was 7 or 9, can't remember, I was taking the life saver tests.  I was failed on the last one, probably because I was so young.  At least that's what people told me.  Imagine a scrawny 90 lb ten year old swimming out to save you.  :)

Anyway, room service really saved our asses.  You could order from all of the restaurants.  Even the bar.  And I didn't think the prices were that bad.  My sirloin steak was maybe a little more than I'd normally pay but OMG it was a beautiful cut.  I almost didn't need a knife to cut it and no fat to speak of.  I'm not sure my sirloin and their sirloin are the same thing.  NOT COMPLAINING!

So I guess I should own up.  When we first got to the room, I told Pedro that Lily and I were going to scope out the hotel.  What I really meant was, I'm heading to the bar and having my first martini.  Lily complained about the noise (there really wasn't any) and said it was probably because it was her first time in a bar.  Thanks for that.  It was really just part of the lobby.  I did put my foot down and refused to let her sit at the bar, after she'd climbed up on a stool.  I have SOME standards.  And I got her a shirley temple to shut her up.  I mean, for a treat.

There were fun moments.  I ordered a balloon treat for Madi.  She got 4 balloons and a humongous candy bar to weigh them down.  Only two balloons made it back to Virginia.  Next time I'll get it for her the first day we're there.  She's taken one of them everywhere with her today. Including the dentist.  That was fun.  But her teeth look good, no cavities and no issues he could see.  We got some fluoride painted on her teeth after they were cleaned.  I think I'm lucky that she loves her fruit and veggies.  Yes she loves candy too but she doesn't hold out for it.  She'll happily steal lettuce from our salads and can't get enough raw sugar snaps.  You know?  We are very lucky.

Oh right, balloons.  So I should've done that earlier but oh well.  So Hershey Park is pretty huge. I didn't make it to the Midway America side.  My feet were crying.  Well, everything was by the end of the day.

Pedro took the girls back to the hotel around 4 and that's when I grabbed my fast pass.  The last one.  Oh boy.  I've always kind of hated those people who cut in line when you've waited an hour for the ride. But hells bells, I could've maybe ridden two coasters in an hour, maybe.  This allowed me to hit all of the nine major ones in 90 minutes, give or take.  I didn't do the two in the Midway side because they were over there and because they looked like old school rides.  Maybe I was wrong.  I'm kind of more into the crazy twirly rides.

So the fast pass.  At Hershey, you pay $50 per person and the pass allows you to ride one roller coaster an hour.  They open up like 10 to 10:45, etc.  NOW because I got mine at the end of the day, I didn't have to wait for any of them to open NOR was I constrained by a time limit.  Like you have to ride the 10am coaster by 10:45 or you lose out.  Do you see what I'm saying?  I totally scored.  I mean, don't count on doing that because they do sell out.  I happened to fluke out.  And I wouldn't want to be there all day waiting for the rides to open up.  Seriously, it was meant to be.  :)

Anyway, most people gave me the hairy eyeball when I was escorted to my seat.  I feel ya.  I hate those assholes too.  But I was that asshole.  lol!

So the first tide was Sky Rush, or something.  Bear in mind I was trying to do this as quickly as possible.  The rides kind of blended together.  It was one of the rides that you can't have anything loose on, so I had everything stuff in my pockets.  Usually with the fast pass you are stuffed in the middle row but they put me at the back.  Everyone knows it's a little wilder at the back.  Sweet murgatroid.  Almost immediately I felt like my phone was slipping out of my pocket so I let go to shove my hand in my pocket.  Well, the g forces were so strong that even me, teutonic brick house that I am, was being flung about in my seat.  To try to counter the forces I tucked my legs under the seat and cross them and encountered sharp metal.  Anyway, I stopped bleeding pretty quickly but my legs are still bruised.   Also, I felt half undressed when I got off the ride.  My shirt had gone up and my shorts down.  Good grief.  I mean, it was a great ride but it was something else.

There was another ride that takes off I swear you go zero to sixty in two seconds.  I didn't know.  I didn't know about any of these rides.  So I'm looking to see where the next ride is and all of a sudden I can't even turn my head as we're rocketing up the track.  I mean, holy crap.  Can't they warn you?

Phew.

So there was the Great Bear which was loads of fun.  Twirling one way then the other.  The Comet was kind of boring.  Sorry.  There was one where you go forwards and backwards.  That was fun.  But the last one I did was Fahrenheit.  OMG  I put that pic on facebook.  You go straight up then loop in a bit so you're going a little upside down on the way down. I screamed so hard.  And laughed.  That is a great ride.  I couldn't stop laughing.

So in addition to my bruises and scabs, I'm hoarse.  Oh poor Sonia.  Having fun and cutting in line.  lol  I'm so surprised by how sore I am.  I saw a bunch of bruises under my arms too.  Damn.  I am glad that I did this because if I've learned anything in life it's that you don't know what the future holds so carpe diem.  And it just so happened that everything worked in my favor.  And I tried to play it smart.  Didn't eat much.  Favored smoothies over solid foods.  So I kept everyone hydrated and moving. 

Oh and you can rent strollers there.  I thought $17 for a double wide was a good deal.  They have nice high handles too, which Pedro appreciated.  Oh and we made Madi walk a lot.  She actually slept through the night last night.  I'm sure she's as tired as we are.  :) Oh and we did make Madi go on one ride: Tea cups.  hahahahaha  She hated it.  Lily was busy twirling the cup and Madi was trying just as hard to stop her.  It was hilarious.  Madi liked the zoo and seeing the fish and birds.  They had a couple of wolves and some sleepy black bears.  A shit-ton of geese.  Good grief.  They have stations set up at different parts of the park where you can pay for dried corn and feed the geese.  Pedro and Lily did this and he said they are lazy bastards that wait for food to be thrown at them.  I told them I'd see them at Thanksgiving.  WHAT?

Since it's Hershey Park (and lodge) chocolate is featured in almost everything.  Shampoo and conditioner? Cocoa bean.  Everyone walks around smelling and smelling like chocolate.  Lily and I walked outside one time and they must have had the factory fired up because all we could smell was chocolate.  I'm sure you get the idea.

So here's the spoiler:  They make macadamia nut kisses!!!  I had no idea.  They don't make them in PA, but don't think I'm not going to order some from Hawaii.  I'll bet they're awesome.

I only have four martini glasses.  Pedro helped me out.  He discovered that drinking a martini in one gulp helps you sleep.  *eyeroll*

Lily needs me to help her play her game.  So I'd better go parent or something.  :)

Hershey a go go

I'm hilarious.

Let me preface this by saying I'm so exhausted.  Onwards.

First, (yes you can preface a first, I just made that rule) it was great staying at Hershey Lodge.  Yes, it's very expensive BUT you get a discount on the tickets into Hershey park, almost $20 off a ticket for adults, AND it's like it's own amusement park.

What say you?

There are children's activities almost every hour.  We got to see a golden eagle up close just because it was 9:30.  There are pools and mini golf and a smores party every night.  All included in your stay. All of the restaurants there are included in room service which runs 6am til 11 at night.

Big deal say you.  Well, Madi doesn't do noise very well and had a meltdown the one time we ate in a restaurant.  She pulled her hair after eating bacon so she smelled good the rest of the day.

But I digress.

Have noisy rambunctious kids?  Well, so do 95% of the people there.  No one will bat an eye or complain.  It was kind of satisfying listening to other parents yell at their kids.  Okay, yes you will hear kids stomp and run down the halls most hours of the day but then you don't need to feel guilty when your kid is doing cartwheels.  My point is, it's a kid friendly place with lots of activities and a pretty accepting atmosphere for families.

Well, say you, I only want to go to Hershey's Park.  Alright fine.  Go there.  Queue up to get to a parking spot.  Walk 10 or more minutes or wait that long for a shuttle.  Then queue up for your tickets.  OR jump on the hershey lodge shuttle and be dropped off right at the entrance.  We were getting serious stink eye from the people who walked.  When you check in at the Lodge, you receive your tickets and a chocolate bar each.  BOOM!

Someone once told me you pay for convenience and it's true.  Was it worth it for me?  Hell yes.

Also?  The martinis are delivered via room service as well.  *cough*

Hershey Park was great.  I loved the roller coasters.  I will likely be bruised and beat up for a few more days.  We never even made it to chocolate world.  How sad is that?  We were there two nights and it wasn't nearly enough time.

Madi did enjoy Zoo America which is attached to the park.  Was it the best zoo ever?  No, but it was small and cute and the kids liked it.

I guess the only bad part was the price gouging at the park.  $3 for a half a liter of bottled water?  Really?  I did sneak in juice and water.  Well, not sneak per se.  I just didn't ask.  Discretion is the better part of valor.  It's true.  I learned it in a video game.

Gosh, we never made it to the Boardwalk either - the water park.  I think we decided we need at least 3 full days and yes we want to go back next year.  I still have more martinis to taste.  :)

Let's see, in conclusion, the hotel staff were great, the amenities were accessible most of the time (I'm tired) and there were lots of things for the kids to do.  Also a bar.  Just saying.  I didn't find the prices at the hotel outrageous.  I don't know if I could find eggs benedict in town for $12.  Right?  And forget me mixing my OWN martinis.  Although I do have a lot of glasses now.  *cough*

And now for something COMPLETELY different...

I got to steam clean pee AND blood today.  Oh boy.  The excitement never ends. 

Brewster is going to a new boarding place and I needed to trim his claws.  I did a pretty good job but then I thought, maybe I'll try and them a little shorter...  Poor guy.  He didn't seem to be in pain as he ran around the house leaving a bloody trail.  Oh I got the blood stopped.  Out of corn starch so I used flour.  His bed, which wasn't all that great to begin with, is now a bloody floury soup.  whee!  I will get him a new bed, keep your pants on.

Anyway, I called the vet and they said he should be fine by tomorrow.  I thought we were going to have to cancel our vacation.  Our expensive vacation.  Well, expensive for us.

Anyhoo, as I was attempting to tend to the dog, Madi took it upon herself to get naked and give the floor a liberally dowsing of pee.  I guess it's like my auntie said.  My humor is my strength to deal with all of this.  It's like a comedy of horrors.  Did I say horrors?  I meant, yeah. Horrors.

I've been doing this gratitude thing where I list what I feel blessed by because I feel it's very easy to get caught up in being miserable.  Did that make sense?  I'm trying to listen for Madi.  The tell tale swish swish of a diaper being ripped off.

 My point being, I'm not really trolling for sympathy.  I think it's important to remember that as hard as my life may subjectively be, it could be worse and I don't think it's a bad thing to count my blessings.  Especially when I'm up all night with Madi and I need to do something. 

hahahahahahhaahah