Wake me Up

For some reason I have that Avicii song in my head.  Well, okay, it still gets a lot of radio play.  Whatever. 

This is the first time I've been on my computer in weeks and I had to move a lot of Pedro's junk off my desk so I could get to it.  grrrr  Anyway, I put Madi on the bus and I'm keeping Lily home.  It seems like her bronchitis is back with a vengeance. 

So yeah, listening to her cough most of the night.  mmmm Coffee.

Anyway, I've been seriously worried about losing my job.  I know I'm a temp and I could be let go and any time.  Obviously, I can't control the snow or sick kids, but still, my first 40 hour week of the year was LAST WEEK.  It's like I cannot physically be there for 40 hours.  Something always comes up. 

So I keep on plugging away and doing what I can because I'd rather make some money than no money. 

But I'm tired, and stressed.  I'm not sure what I'm doing with my life.  I know I've said this before.  In Vancouver, I was set for life.  But I wasn't really living.  If you could call living by the beach and going out all the time not living.  Cough.  I kid.  I hated the building I lived in.  I could hear my neighbors going pee.  I was tired and stressed.

Sound familiar?

Anyway, at least I could nap.  And get drunk.  Cough.

Anyway.  Sometimes it feels like everyone else has life figured out, except for me.  I know that's not true.  It's like I'm looking for that one solution. That one job, or one something.  Madi obviously requires a lot more foresight and planning than her sister.  I can make do without a lot.  I can hear some of you scoffing and if you've seen my Wall of Purses, I can understand why.  But when I lived in Australia I had everything I needed in my rucksack (which included coffee) and I was happy.  But now I have a child who will need care her whole life.  I can't carry her in my rucksack.

We did have a good IEP meeting yesterday.  Her PT has pretty much been dropped.  I was surprised they were still doing it.  Remember when she started school she had those little ankle supports because she was having so much trouble walking.  Now she climbs like a mountain goat and can certainly run faster than I can so I had no problems with no PT.  

However, it was still hard seeing her limitations in black and white.  She's improving, don't get me wrong.  But it's still hard.  She'll be five in June but she operates on a 2 year old level.  Again, she's still moving forward and improvement, no matter how slow, is great.  It's just hard confronting it like that.  I see what she can do and I'm happy for her and like it when she cracks her jokes on us.  I don't see her as "slow" although I know she is.

Gross Story Alert

She's been pooping in the tub a lot this week.  I know, we think it's gross too.  So after fussing at her and telling her it goes in the potty, she put a big lump out in the hallway for us, last night.  Tell me that kid doesn't know what she's doing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcrbM1l_BoI