In the weeds...

Something my doctor said to me recently.  She has an adult special needs child and although I'm sorry for the trials that she's been through, it's nice to have someone who can relate.  I don't expect everyone to feel my pain or understand the stress that we go through.  But man, when I find someone who does it is so helpful.  Not because they have a bunch of answers for me but just knowing there are people out there who get it.  Who understand that sometimes you'll do almost anything to get your kid to stop screaming and that when others offer advice you have to nod your head because you've tried everything.  Twice. 

And blogger is acting like it has its period today.

I'm kind of a blabber mouth about certain things so I'm always telling people about Madi.  Which in turn gets people to open up to me about their kids.  I just don't think that having a learning disability or developmental delay or whatever, should be taboo.  I think the more that we learn about the brain, the more we know that people can be so different and yet that doesn't make anyone right or wrong, better or worse. 

The stress comes from her not sleeping through the night, which puts a strain on everyone.  Her screaming and yelling and tantrum-ing when we can't figure out what is going on.  Her destruction of more items than I wish to recount.  She'll come up behind me and yank on my hair.  Oh, thanks, Madi.  We're adapting as much as we can for her but that takes a lot out of all of us. 

What else?  Oh crap.  The future.  Will she be able to support herself?  Will people take advantage of her?  What will happen when we're gone?  It's a constant low level stress.  I try to do what's right for her now and hope for the best because I really can't control the future.  I guess I'm kind of shallow in that she's cute so I hope people watch out for her.  Not much of a plan but it's likely to work as well as any of them. 

At least she is a pain in the ass.  I don't like that she kicks her teacher but her teacher is especially hard on her so Madi takes matters into her own hands.  That she's able to 1) recognize that she's being singled out and 2) that she doesn't roll over and let people mistreat her, gives me hope. 

Every day with her is a struggle.  Even if it's that I can't cook dinner because she screams or throws things because I'm not paying attention to her.  So we wait til Pedro gets home to cook and that ruins our chances to go to the gym, which Pedro needs because of his diabetes. 

See?  Gah.

Anyway, all we can do is our best.

And of course, I get to ride and then go for lunch with my friend and that helps too.  OMG  Why are these pics so weird?  Sigh.  Oh yeah, so Madi ruined my kindle, crushed my phone, and cracked my ipod.  So I feel like I'm living in 2005.  My phone is being repaired, and I'm going to get my ipod fixed.  I hope.  The 4th gen itouch is a pretty good deal since the 5 gen is out.  Sigh.

Anyway, I get to see my buddy Innis today.  He is a sweetie although he tried to make me give him mints before he does anything.  SIGH

Oh boy

So, Madi is kind of over the smashing dishes thing.  If only because we're getting low on dishes.  She's pulling her hair less but again, she doesn't have much left in front.  She's pulling my hair less but I attribute that to me pulling her hair back.  Oh yeah, THAT'S how it feels. 

She's talking more and more but I just don't know what is with the crazy tantrums.  Frustrated at not being able to communicate?  I've taught Pedro (and I hope that doesn't sound patronizing) instead of yelling at her when she's doing something wrong, reward her as soon as she does something right.  That also cuts down on the tantrums.  I can't say it enough: kids learn how to behave by watching their parents.  That old chiché actions speak louder than words is so true.

Anyhoo, I had diarrhea at Wal-Mart today.  How awesome is that???  Oh I was fine and even had the bathroom to myself but hell's bells I was shopping fast!  I think it was that gorgonzola.  *eyes*

What else?  Lily is doing well in school, as per usual.  She helped her daddy rewire the house over the weekend.  I owe her a big reward.  Can't decide what. 

Oh and I got some potatoes.  I know!  We sort of all eat low carb because of Pedro but I just need some potatoes!  He can have a small amount.  I lost my train of thought thinking about how to cook them....

Anyhoo, I am hanging in there.  Poor Pedro slept with Madi who decided to get up at 2:30.  And like leave the room, get up.  He had to chase her down and bring her back to bed.  She didn't even nap yesterday so I was pretty sure she'd be sleeping through the night.  O.o  Don't know what to do with her.  Straightjacket?