Monday, February 3, 2014

Worry

So, I have a lot of my plate.  I did finally get my passport application off, which was a job in itself.  But that's another post. 

I keep arguing in my head about how to proceed so here it is in bullet points:

- worry about Madi and her future
- worry about providing for family if something happens to Pedro
- worry about losing my job because of all the time I miss related to the kids, ie school closings, illness
- worry about the economy in general
- worry about how to help Lily get the most out of her life
- worry about getting enough sleep because I feel like that will NEVER happen again
- ummm

I feel like there's more but it's hard to seperate the "real" worries from the ones I don't really know about.

Hello, English.  What I mean is, let's say something happens to Pedro and I need to work and get insurance, etc.  That would be stressful.  The economy and the state of it is something I can't know by myself, I just hear about it through the media.  Is it as bad as they say?  Who's measuring this stuff?  Is the media more likely to tell bad stories to get more attention?

I don't know but it's the kind of stuff likely to keep me up at night.

The whole point of me going back to work and being tired and stressed was to make money to put into savings and help out with Madi down the road.  Maybe Lily but she's smart so she'll figure that out.  ha!  But I've missed so many days due to school closings for snow, it's been ridiculous.  And I know I'm at a great place where they, hopefully, don't penalize me when I'm not there.  I wouldn't be so lucky at a lot of other places.  I don't know what I'm trying to say... I'm lucky but I don't want to abuse it, and I'm not, but shoot, companies hire people to work there, not sit at home on snow days.

O.o

So I haven't been making the money I set out to make, I'm stressed about losing my job, frustrated that my plans aren't working out like I had hoped oh and Lily had a great riding lesson so she wants to ride again.  After SOBBING about not wanting to ride.  Really, we had two lessons where we just walked the pony/horse around because she refused to ride. 

O.o

Anyway, my point is.  ARGH!  So there, now I'm off to take Madi to the dentist.  (insert maniacal laughter here)